Smothered (2016) Online

Horror that is, indeed, not in the way you might expect. Comical, not one bit, except if you are rotten inside or in a drug induce haze. I stop watching 46 minutes in, 24 of which where I try to justify the existence of such a piece. So tedious, badly done and overwhelmingly boring that I ended up laughing, laughing at the poor Scared Movie fan who paid $3.99 to buy it out of the leftover bin at the flee market delighted at the idea of such an epic actors reunion. John Schneider should have taken is buddies on a all you can eat buffet trip and spare us this garbage self indulgence. Editing with is non-linear story telling, post-production with is distasteful choice of music are serious contestants for a Golden Raspberry. 3.4 out of 10

A hard film to review, overall.

First, as I have mentioned before in a few of my 1100+ reviews, most film-makers secretly yearn for the "trifecta" of movie making -- which is low budget, small cast, single location. Since film (like everything else in our society, and I mean LITERALLY everything) is a business, even a moderate audience for such a low-budget film means profits, which means you are a hot ticket, which means you get new money for more product. Which means you have a new career.

So in this light Schneider (and I am a fan of his TV work) did the smart thing all the way. He not only went after the Holy Grail of film making (as above) but did so with a sharp concept (name horror stars hoisted on their own petard) with many of the cast playing against type. Clever. Very clever.

So what went wrong? Not much really. The problem is that, with such careful and meticulous preparation, this film can never aspire to be more than it was originally designed to be.

In other words, you have (perhaps) an instant "cult" film, designed to appeal to a youngish demographic that "gets" films that deconstruct themselves, and are looking to fill some two hours with harmless and forgettable fun.

On the other hand, this is not a true horror film (like Conjuring) not a true comedy (like the films Leslie Mann appears in) and is at best a super-lite version of the "ensemble films" that the late Robert Altman was known for.

Not bad for a first effort. But you are not going to see it mentioned at the Oscars.

During a horror-fest convention in Louisiana, a number of participants pay for their RV spot by scaring the residents of the park. However, things backfire as they are the ones getting scared and killed.

The film is done in a grindhouse fashion. It uses 4 real horror film stars and supplements them with some fake ones. Michael Berryman played himself, but was not one of the four. Chunks (Rachel Alana Handler) is a woman who really lost her leg. Smothered was the preferred way to die as the M.O. of Dee Dee (Brea Grant) who had a huge fake chest attached to her torso...no those weren't hers. Kane Hodder, R.A. Mihailoff, Malcolm Danare, and Don Shanks played themselves. Bill Moseley, who has been in enough horror films to have played himself, did not, but rather played the part reserved for Robert Englund.

The film had promise, but didn't deliver. It needed a metal soundtrack for one thing. The humor didn't work too well in this comedy/slasher.

Guide: F-word. Sex. Fake nudity.

I had the great pleasure of watching the premier last night at the Scare-a-Con at the Turning Stone Casino in New York.

The film was an absolute hoot, and had the audience laughing and gasping at the same time. The horror icons (too many to list - see the cast list) did their jobs admirably and with perfect execution. The camera work and post-production work was very well done. My only concern was the non-linear time line jumps, but as John Schneider pointed out in the subsequent Q&A session, it keeps one focused on the film, but in the same breath he assured us that a completely linear version will be on the DVD when it is released.

In short, I'm probably going straight to Hell for laughing at a lot of this stuff, but I guess I'll see you all there. You'll know me, I'll be the guy in the trench coat black-marketing ice cubes!

RR

I love low budget horror, even the lowest of the low and have an appreciation for 'so bad it's good' cheese-fests. This movie is so bad that it is basically unwatchable, and it doesn't help itself by having editing that makes very little sense.

For no apparent reason the story is broken up into chapters(?) that don't really correlate and don't help to reveal anything or enhance the story in any way, so I have no idea why they didn't just make a linear film. Sure, there is actually very little in the way of story to tell, but at least you could have made an average lame horror movie, rather than some chopped up piece of garbage that thinks it is saying more than it is.

Finally the premise, it barely has anything to do with what happens in the actual movie and the smothering plays so little a part that it is nothing more than a gimmick. There is nothing redeemable about this movie apart from the names in it and they are completely wasted so that means very little. I was really hoping this would be a fun horror comedy watch and it just wasn't, it was a pain to sit through. Avoid!

Few people would have believed that JOHN SCHNEIDER known earlier in the 1980s as Bo Duke (Dukes of Hazzard) and later as Jonathen Kent (Smallville) would have conceived, written, and directed a horror/comedy film, but in fact he did! I was privileged to view this iconic film at Mad Monster Party at Charlotte, NC back in March, 2014. The full to capacity crowd, standing room only, howled at the fun parts, and gasped at the horror scenes, laughed at the insider jokes, and clapped at the close of the film with wild cheering and many "yah-hoos and yee-hahs!" Without giving spoilers here, true 1970s/1980s horror fans will have a great time watching their favorite icons from famous movies such as Halloween, Christine, The Hills Have Eyes, Texas Chainsaw Murders, and many more. John has proved himself as an A-1 director who understands gruesome humor speckled with shocking scenes to delight even new movie goers who have never seen a horror movie before. Being in show business from the tender age of 8 years old, John Schneider has proved that all his years of experiences and performances including 14 studio albums and 4 number-one hit singles, plus numerous Broadway (Grand Hotel, Chicago) and touring dates have culminated in not just this film, but in several other films on the horizon - Like Son, Anderson Bench, Inadmissible, and others. Watch out for more exciting and tantalizing films from John Schneider Studios shot in his 58-acres of pristine property in Holden, Louisiana!

I really enjoyed this, I don't usually get to see this much Bill and Kane in a movie! Yeah, it is kinda cheesy, but that is what I loved about it! I laughed at several parts and I thought everyone did a great job.

I think this is great for those that love all these horror icons, R.A's secret cracked me up, lol. I am not going to give spoilers, why read a movie review for the spoilers!? Instead, I will say this is great for what it is, and I could tell everyone had a great time making the movie, that is what counts! We all know that no one in this just did it for the money, they did it because they love what they do! This is a fun movie and I will be watching this again!! Great job!!!