The Best by Private 151: The British Are Cumming Volume 2 (2011) Online

Britain's low-grade answer to Manhattan Cable's Ugly George (an '80s kook best forgotten), one Ionie Luvvcoxx, wanders London's streets camera poised, seeking able-bodied men and women to hump for her amateur camera. Private Media gave her a forum for a dozen or two lousy amateur features a decade back, and then had the temerity to compile "best of" DVDs from them to sucker me in, as Brit Porn's Number 1 addict Stateside.

There's an unhealthy mix of pros and amateurs in this six-scene retread. The pros include distinctive Subcontinent model Leah Jaye, who suffers through having her name spelled Leam, and is interviewed by Ionie under the pretense that Jaye is a hooker rather than an actress. Stefan Hard, recognizable immediately to any Brit Porn enthusiast, is likewise dragged in to the proceedings.

Ionie herself makes some lesbian fonding moves and goes topless in one scene, losing all objectivity in her work (hey, I'm kidding!). She has a real cameraman but most scenes are shown with her holding her own camera for us to gaze at onscreen and thereby destroy any meager chance of escaping into the picture.

Fred Wiseman she ain't.