Charlie's Angels Angels on Skates (1976–1981) Online

First, I have to laugh at one review...that the writing was not great. WHEN has Charlie's Angels EVER had great writing?

The ending is so laughable when the kidnapped girl is told by Kris to change into her costume and get out there and "win one for the Gipper"... she's only been tied up, held in a hidden room and menaced by a goon who threatens to rape her for days...to heck with that, GO WIN THE CONTEST! Then she and Ed Begley Jr don some gold lame outfits, skate around twice and SPLICE, two stunt people who wear horrid wigs take over. One lift, one twirl later, WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!!

The other was Bosley and Kelly doing surveillance from their car on the boardwalk when Ed grabs the ransom bag. Both leap out of the car, but Kelly is on skates! Come on! The guy they're chasing is clubbed from his bike by Pinky Tuscadero while they dash to the club on bicycles to solve the crime.

Lord, this was so bad.

Kelly,Kris and Tiffany don roller skates to investigate the disappearance of roller dance favorite Rita Morgan.

Kris and Kelly convince a reluctant Tiffany to join them for skating lessons at Venice Beach. They watch their teacher, Kenny Daniels, and his partner put on a performance for the crowd along the boardwalk. His partner, Rita, panics when someone takes her picture. She tries to flee, but two men grab her and shove her into a van. The police cannot be sure that she was actually kidnapped because she was using a false name. The Angels speculate that she may have been taken by a competitor who wanted to keep Rita and Kenny from winning the $30,000 grand prize for a roller disco contest.

While this is a light episode that involves our heroines into skating,it was pretty much entertaining in the sense that dancing happens to be the thing in the 70's when the show was made.

Ed Begley and Pinky Tuscadero guest appearances and funky 1979 roller disco made this a fun episode but the weak writing really holds It back.

I tried to give this three stars, i really did. But my ceaseless chuckles after it was over wouldn't let me. The plot (Angels investigate kidnapping of a penniless Venice Beach skater who turns out to be an heiress) is one of their more painfully contrived offerings. At the end, after the girl has been freed, looking every bit as traumatized as she should after three days bound in a cellar with a violent goon, Kris tells her to go out and win that local championship she'd been preparing for...and if that's not enough, your partner (Ed Begley Jr.) was part of the kidnapping scheme! Go skate your ass off, honey! Ed, never mind those felony charges, you've got a contest to win! The hokeyness is unending, and with guest star richness, prepare yourself for howl after howl. Begley is honest-to-zeus friggin' fantastic on wheels! Joining him is bad guy Rene Auberjonois (M*A*S*H, BENSON, DEEP SPACE NINE) as sleazy promoter Freddie Fortune. If that's not enough, there's also a perspicacious plenitude of pulchritude, and over-the-top 70s roller skating.

To celebrate the birthday of René Auberjonois, this reviewer spent a week long look at 7 guest starring roles from the 70's by the incomparable Mr. Auberjonois. Today is the last day. Day seven: Charlie's Angels season four: Angels on Skates.

René Auberjonois returns to the Angelverse to face two new (to him at least) Angels: Kris and (my personal favorite) Tiffany. Apparently our man René agrees, since he immediately comes on to Tiff at the 'Wheels of Fortune skate shop' wearing a Bluto T-shirt (there's a giveaway if ever I saw one). He then introduces himself as 'Frederick Victor Fortune - call me Freddie' and offers to turn the Angels into 'Fortune Girls'.

As soon as the Angels go back outside to skate the Beach of Venice, their teacher Ken's partner Rita is kidnapped in plain view as well as broad daylight. Somehow the Angels can't do anything but watch it happen. Further more, the police are unable prove it really is a kidnapping and Kenny doesn't have enough money to pay a ransom nor the Townsend Agency. Kris still convinces Charlie and the gang to take the case any way. While Kris sticks close to Ken (who may or may not be involved), the others investigate possible suspects and hey, what do you know? They actually use fake names for a change! Bosley poses as 'Warren Rambert of the West Coast Roller Derby', while Tiff and Kel pretend to be 'Yvonne Henning & Tara White of Roller Disco Magazine'.

Of course we all know the man they should really be looking into is Freddie Fortune, owner of Flipper's Roller Boogie Palace where he does double duty as the silky voiced DJ (using a different voice because as we've found out several times this week, that's R.A.'s specialty). Shortly after- wards, we the audience finds out Freddie is indeed behind the kidnapping. His victim Rita Morgan turns out to be heiress Rita Lathrop, who ran away from home 6 months earlier. So that's where the baddies plan to get the money. Also now the Angels can be paid their usual fee by Rita's step mom.

A few noticeable things: every time we cut back to the Palace, Kris and Freddie are wearing a new outfit. But none of the other skaters ever change their clothes, not even Kenny. Also, whenever the two K's, Cheryl Ladd and Ed Begly Jr., share a scene together they have to sit down, because they hardly fit in the same shot owing to the substantial size difference between them. Freddie still hasn't made his ransom demand until after the Angels find out Rita's actual I.D. When he does, he goes to the trouble of attaching a special voice altering device to the phone, but still uses an easily traceable payphone right next to the side entrance of his skating rink. And as we all know by now, Auberjonois hardly needs a machine to alter his voice.

Kris finally takes Freddie up on his offer to join his Fortune Girls. Meanwhile Tiff is on a bike with a bag filled with 1 million dollars in cash: ransom money. At the same time, the skating competition is about to start, so Freddie is wearing his most outlandish outfit yet. This one resembles a sparkly, disco version of the Lone Ranger costume, without the mask but with musical notes on it to make up for that.

It's a shame the Great René A. never puts on a pair of skates himself nor does he participate in the final chase scene. Sure, he loses the game and Bosley holds a gun on him, but we never even get to see Freddie be arrested or hear what happens to him in the office wrap up scene. Ed Begley Jr. does get to skate and be part of the chase, with a lot of help from a professional skating double during the finale of the competition.

9 out of 10

It's been a hoot reviewing 7 Seventies Auberjonois capers in a row. Maybe we'll do this again some time, focusing on another prolific guest star from that era.