Gettin' In (2012) Online

This is the first review I have ever written, but after seeing this movie, I felt compelled -- nay, duty-bound -- to warn others of its toxicity. So profoundly terrible was this film that I wept. I actually feel like less of a person having seen it. I feel as though my soul has been torn from me. Let me try to explain...

A friend and I, after a night of studying, were searching for something to watch which would require minimal cerebral involvement and nudity of the female variety. "Just pick something that looks trashy," I said. "It doesn't really matter what we pick," I said. I cannot express to you how wrong I was. Even by those incredibly modest standards, this movie fails to please. The plot and pacing is so obtuse that it actually stresses and forces the mind into activity. Even nudity cannot be depended upon, unless what you were hoping for was the occasional glimpse at a penis or male buttock. But this is the tip of the iceberg.

Blatant racism, poor acting, and halfhearted slapstick test the limits of human comprehension. Each scene limps into the next, taunting you with yet less palatable excrement. As my brain cells began to jump ship, I began to feel at first angry, and then deeply, deeply sad. Unable to conquer my pride and admit defeat, I forced myself to watch, and prayed for the credits. When they finally came, I was so completely demoralized that I had tears in my eyes. My faith in humanity has endured a blow it may never fully recover from. So as to commemorate the emotional and intellectual holocaust I experienced, I took a photo of myself, capturing the single most haunted, broken expression I have ever seen. The caption was but one word.

"Destroyed"