Tying the Knot (2004) Online

I had the privilege last night of not only seeing this movie, but having a Q & A session with the director as well. I've always supported homosexual marriage, but this film made me realize that we need to start pushing hard for it ASAP. Many people believe that homosexuals don't really "need" to marry, but this film completely dispels that myth. Homosexuals need the right to marry. And they need it as soon as possible. I'm not a big cryer in movies. Only one movie has ever made me cry (ironically, it was Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey). But I came very, very close multiple times. Not only did I almost cry at the case studies, but also at the shear joy displayed by so many in the countries where homosexuals have finally been allowed to marry. A U.S. citizen, I love my country dearly, but it has its flaws. One of its major flaws is that we're never exactly ahead of the game on civil rights. This film reminded me of that in brutal honesty.

See this movie, and tell your friends and elected representatives to see it as well. This could, and probably should, ultimately be remembered as one of the most important films of the decade.

If you are one of those people -- gay or straight -- who doesn't understand why gay marriage matters, THIS is the movie for you. Not only for you, but for your entire circle of friends and family members, not to mention all of your representatives in Congress, too. A low budget documentary with its heart in the right place, Tying the Knot uses interviews with real people and sound bites aplenty to show how weak, hypocritical and just plain wrong the arguments against gay marriage are; and why the issue is one of dignity, humanity and respect, not politics or religion. A wonderful intro to the subject, Tying the Knot is moving, informative and may well inspire you to action!

This movie was difficult for me to watch because it made me so emotional. It realistically shows the struggle of gay couples in America. An extremely powerful movie that makes me stand even firmer behind my convictions that same sex marriage should be legal. My favorite story was the one about Sam and Earl--partners for twenty-five years before Earl became ill and died. They build their house and farm from the ground up and raised children together and were devoted to each other in every way, but Earl's cousins were able to nullify his will and take possession of the land that Earl and Sam put their life's blood into. What a tragedy that this was able to happen--this is the reason why same-sex marriage should be legal. Sam and Earl were as much in love as any straight couple. They deserve equal rights under the law.

This year has been full of topical documentaries. Control Room did a great job of presenting us with a look at how biased our news media is. Fahrenheit 911 is sure to show us plenty of negative images of Bush. The next most important documentary is Tying the Knot.

I had the chance to see this at the 2004 TriBeCa Film Fest. The theater was packed and the audience was pumped. I had very little expectations for this film, but was thrilled to witness a movie that does more than present information... it presents personal perspectives.

Tying the Knot offers multiple perspectives as to why same-sex marriages should be legal. One of the most fascinating parts is a brief history that is given on the topic of marriage and how it has developed over centuries.

I just hope that people (although it's not terribly realistic) who don't agree with same- sex marriages will go and see it.

It is difficult to write any kind of review of this film which would not turn into a legal argument. However, I will say that anyone truly interested in preserving the "American Way" should cringe when the Bible is invoked as the only reason supporting a law.

Michael Kinsley, currently the editorial page editor of the L.A. Times, some time ago said that the solution to the problem is for the government to privatize marriage--that marital status should create no legal distinctions whatsoever, and that whether or not persons would be allowed to marry (or to divorce) would be strictly up to their religious denomination. Marriage would return to being a sacrament and cease being a political bludgeon.

This film presented the legal analysis very cogently, and also put some human faces on persons affected by the unequal treatment. The film was informative, moving and hopeful. And I wonder what became of Earl.

This film was VERY engaging (<---pun?), but the ending left me hanging. While the main profile in the movie received at least SOME sort of resolution, the other profiles were abandoned. Instead of giving updates on the current status of the other cases, there's a tacked-on wedding scene, featuring two guys that don't appear anywhere else in the movie. A bit forced. Felt clumsy. Other than that, it was great. This film was VERY engaging (<---pun?), but the ending left me hanging. While the main profile in the movie received at least SOME sort of resolution, the other profiles were abandoned. Instead of giving updates on the current status of the other cases, there's a tacked-on wedding scene, featuring two guys that don't appear anywhere else in the movie. A bit forced. Felt clumsy. Other than that, it was great. . . .

Jim de Seve's documentary may not be a good example of good pacing, but rather than making a political or religious argument by and large about the issue of gay marriage, it presents what one simply could not refute, what no one can justify in opposition: Personal individual, and highly unlikely, filmed documents of cases in which it is made perfectly clear that civil unions cut no ice in court, made loud and clear that even some of the most likable working people you know are voting for politicians who cause these horrible things to happen to decent people, people who are gay and nonetheless had the most remarkable relationships of any of those around them, most of whom are very loyal and understanding to these people, whose stories you will never quite live down, or understand how anyone could live them.

This enraging low-budget film anesthetizes us a little with its binding array of well-versed speakers and heated sound bites from supporters and opponents correspondingly as it follows the history of marriage, but I am not sure how well one will remember most of this by the end of the film, because what will be resonating are its very personal chronicles of two such ill-fated unions.

One account concerns the marriage of lesbian Florida police officers, sadly severed a decade later when one was fatally shot in the line of duty. The deceased's family, who had hardly kept in touch with her and only when the possibility of finding a loophole in her civil union to get the money she left for her grieving lover, they show up. Even more heartbreaking is the story of Oklahoma farmers Earl and Sam, who lived together for 22 years and raised Sam's three sons from his previous marriage. Earl willed the ranch to Sam, as well as making him beneficiary of his 401(K) retirement fund. But the family, who again had not been in contact with Earl for many many years, opposed and not only kicked him off the property, but demanded back rent from Sam, who has had to sell his horses and still can't pay the bill.

No one deserves these lives, except maybe for those who are inflicting this kind of infuriating suffering and glaring, barbaric injustice. The director of Tying the Knot De Sève justly depicts gay marriage as a civil rights issue. Frankly, why would anyone dispute a documentary for not giving a voice to bigots or to discrimination? Nobody would advise such elaborate balance with a documentary about slavery or women's suffrage. But he does give a fair amount of time to significant opponents James Dobson of Focus on the Family and Sen. Bob Barr, sponsor of the ridiculous and groundless Defense of Marriage Act.

The film begins with archival footage of a 1971 demonstration at the Manhattan city clerk's office and ends with the cancelling out of 4,000-plus marriages in California and 2,000-plus in Virginia in 2004. No matter which side of the case you are on, Tying the Knot is worth seeing for its relevance and how powerfully it humanizes such an issue that people just like Earl and Sam and those Florida cops are voting to perpetuate.