Skeleton Key (2006) Online

OMG! This film looks like a home movie, but worse. The first comment, and only comment, I read hyped it up a bit, though I'm positive now that it had to have been the director or writer. There appeared to have been no post-production work at all done on this, so you have very bad lighting effects, abysmal audio quality, and just plain shoddy cuts throughout. If the first comment suckered you into watching even a few minutes of this film, please click the little button that says it didn't help you at all so that it will get bumped out and won't sucker more poor souls into thinking about checking it out.

I have seen some really, really bad movies in my time and this one takes the cake. Realistically, it should have stayed on the Internet and never made it to a real DVD. Don't even bother looking for this int he bargain bins at your local Dollar Store, since I don't think they're that dumb. I don't know how best to warn you about this so let me sum it up:

1. Sound - They appeared to have used the built-in mic on the $300 camera they shot the film with. Background/ambient music is campy at best, more like something you'd hear at a circus. 2. Video - Poor lighting, bad angles, no post-production, just plain home video-esquire. I've seen better fan films than this. 3. Acting - Non-existent, plain and simple. There are times when the "actors" (I really shouldn't tarnish the title actor by applying it to anyone in this film), actually stop what they're doing to see what's supposed to be happening. 4. Story - Not there, very choppy and jumps all over the place.

Do not waste your time with this poor excuse for a campy horror comedy. They tried to throw in a little kin here and there, but come on, even that doesn't save the film unless you want to see a little amateur boob action. If you do happen to become a victim of this film, please vote so we can bump the canned votes off that try to hype the film.

Man! I need to watch something good to erase the dreadful memory of this nuked film! Maybe a little YouTube action will help, since the acting and stories are so much better.

***SPOILER ALERT*** This movie sucks scrotum... cause I can't say B*LLS

May I just say that I have seen not only one, but TWO separate versions of this film... and I don't even know these people. As a supporter of poorly made films and people that live within a 100 mile radius of me, I feel it only appropriate to see what's going on in the community. This movie makes me feel like I should be doing something in the film making business. That first comment was pretty spot on, though i must admit the main villain in the movie is played well by... whomever the fk he was. Also, the villain I am talking about is the scientist that sings about man-bags. This movie had too many damn villains, but no real plot. I think that was the problem. Also, I don't care if Matt Damon or Ben Affleck were in this or not, that plot could not have been worse if J.J. Abrams had produced it.

Now with all the insults that I have said, may I just say that I love movies that come from fecal matter. So if you are into movies that are less creative than George Lucas then this is right up your alley.

I love Skeleton Key. So many wonderful stupid jokes, insane characters and boobies galore.

Big stars be damned!

How can you not love this movie and everything involved with it! It could only be better if it were done by his superior arch rival, Delawanda Decrucio! Yes, it could have had a better lead actor like someone in the vein of Russel Fenton or a piece of wood, but even still, it works in the way that a drunken midget would amuse a houseful of nuns. Life is great because of movies like Skeleton Key and God bless those beautiful people who made it! Bravo!

I am not John Johnson.

Given the other comment on this movie, I would like to say that I am not affiliated with the writer/director or any cast of this film. I did, however, register on IMDb just because this comment had to be made. I also must say that this is one of the greatest "get a bunch of friends together and make a movie" films I have ever seen. It is campy, made on a shoestring budget and not very technical at all. That said, if you can just get over those things and come at it with the will to have fun, you will enjoy John Johnson's cheesy monster flick.

The reasons? What monsters do you like in your movies? This movie has gory zombies, sexy vampires, a mad scientist and various assorted freaks. It has the talents of scream queens like Debbie Rochon and Brinke Stevens.

The number one reason I love this film is the character Neil. He has already seen the movie, and in fact is kind of a fanboy who is watching the movie along with you in his bathroom. Occasionally he pauses the film to tell you what just went on and why it is absolutely awesome. For this experience alone this movie is well worth watching.

Don't take the movie or yourself too seriously and just enjoy it.

Really, some people take themselves waaaaaaaaay to seriously. Relax, its just a movie....why get so angry? Its a indie low budget movie, so if you only like high production Hollywood type movies then don't watch it. It's also Comedy/Horror...that a silly and immature genre of movie anyway.....so what did you expect? Anyway....I for one loved this movie, I watched it twice actually. Thought it was funny and silly and entertaining. You can tell it was made by people who just love movies. But if you have a stick permanently inserted in your ass, don't watch it, cause it wont be your cup of tea.

A reporter sets out to find a five legged, two headed goat and arrives in the town of Nilbog. The town is infested with all manner of monsters. From Zombies through to Vampires.

Joh Johnson has quite an an impressive IMDb list of credits and to be continually working is a commendable thing.

I feel a bit guilty about not really liking this film. Judging by the reviews on here you really either love it or hate it. I would not go as far as saying I hated this. I just found it a bit juvenile and some of the characters really grated on me.

The concept is cool and starts off with a man watching the film in his bathroom. It then jumps back to him on numerous occasions and he passes comments on the action unfolding. Now if he had spoken in a normal voice (or really any other voice than the one used) this would have been fine, but he speaks his lines in a high pitched sequel. This seems to be a problem with a lot of the characters through out the film. There is also the Asian man who does not speak English, and he really just sounds like he is talking gibberish. Apparently the script was totally improvised.

Some of the physical special effects were good, but this was counterbalanced by some poor visual effects.

Acting generally was poor. There are appearances from Debbie Rochon and Brinkie Stevens, two well established scream queens. They are only briefly seen and Debbie has a slightly bigger part than Brinkie, who only really has a cameo.

The best thing about this was the music and there was a rock track that sounded very much like the Phantasm main title. Cool !!

Not a total waste as there were the odd scene that made me smile and keep my attention. Especially the Grease homage when the lead actor started to sing to a girl called Sandy!!!!!

There is even a couple of sequel's. Skeleton key 2: 667 the neighbour of the beast in 2008 and Skeleton key 3: The organ trail, made in 2011. So their must be a fan base out there somewhere.

How can you NOT love this movie? Have I watched so many "bad movies" that I am brain-washed? No, maybe I have watched so many GREAT independent films that my mind has been opened to the awesomeness of low budget independent film. I think John Johnson did an awesome job with this movie. I laughed my ass off watching it the first time. And you know what? I laughed my ass off watching it for the 7th time the other night when I showed it to a friend. If you're so uptight that you can't relax and have a good time with this movie I feel bad for you. Sorry Matt Damon and Ben Affleck aren't running around high budget scenery dealing out jokes. If that is what you're looking for, don't look here. If you are looking for a genuinely funny movie watch this. John Johnson does a great job acting also. He pulls off what reminds me of a Bruce Campbell-like fighting yourself scene in the hotel room which I really loved. Neal, who goes from the bathtub viewer that's watching the movie with you to actually being IN the movie is hilarious and keeps the laughs rolling along. My personal favorite is Dr. Noches played by Jay Barber. He is hilarious and did a great job with his part.

I don't get why people complain about lighting and camera work. THIS IS AN INDEPENDENT MOVIE! Some of the best movies I have ever seen have poor lighting, bad camera work and non-famous actors. Everyone I have played this movie for LOVES IT! Maybe I am just lucky and have a very open minded, cool group of friends.

First off, let me say for the record that I AM NOT JOHN JOHNSON. I've been watching the man's work for 12 years now, and it still never ceases to put a smile on my face and make me let out a laugh. The first thing a person must remember when they are watching Skeleton Key, whether it be 1, 2, 3, etc. is that you should not take a moment of it seriously. As someone I know once said, it's "theater of the absurd." Besides, how can someone not love the moments with Nicapernocus such as "kick some zombie a**!!!" or "he just slapped you upside the head with a big d***!"? The whole bit with "The King" is flat out hilarious! However, there is one complaint I have... why did he have to pick a love interest with a man's face and virtually lousy looking tits???

"Skeleton Key" is a very funny movie. The people who squeezed the scripts for "Disaster Movie" and "An Amercian Carol" from their colons should watch before they try their hands at comedy again. Maybe they could learn a thing or two.

While I don't make excuses for indie films when it comes to technical incompetence--"White Zombie" was an indie film, "A Carnival of Souls" was an indie film, "Night Tide" was an indie film, "A Bucket of Blood" was an indie film, just to name a few of the thousands of excellent indie films that have been made since the arrival of sound in films--there's no point in knocking "Skeleton Key" for bad sound, lighting, or photography. Hell, doing that is missing one of the jokes, I think.

This is a spoof of horror films along the lines of "Disaster Movie" and "An American Carol." More to the point, it's a spoof of low-budget, indie horror films. It embraces it's cheapness and wears it like a badge of honor. In fact, based on other John Johnson films I've seen--like "Alucard"--I think some of the "incompetence" here is intentional.

"Skeleton Key" may not be a masterpiece, but it's also not as bad as some posters attempt t portray it. And it's far better than a number of recent Hollywood attempts at making movies along this line.

This is the flag ship film of Darkstone Entertainment and has been remade 2 times already. First one was a short film now know as Skeleton Key -1. Then came the first full feature attempt at the film on VHS called Skeleton Key 0. Now we have SK 1. The director John Johnson decided to go with a completely improvised script (that means all the lines were made up at the time they were saying them). The story is so crazy that it would take all day to explain the film. To sum it up is pretty much impossible. All I can say is that I can guarantee you will be entertained and at the end of the day isn't that what is the most important thing you are trying to get from a film. The film was shot completely guerrilla style with the cast and crew almost getting arrested by the local police for disturbing the peace. The extras are great as is the commentary. Try it out, you won't regret it.