Secret Admirer (2013) Online

Wicked Pictures releases many a XXX rom-com, rather timid DVDs but likely of interest to anyone studying the decline of the genre (I'm thinking of mainstream) in recent years. Here we have a perfect example of how worn-out the format ha become.

Back in the '40s great actresses raised this genre to its pinnacle, with everyone from Jean Arthur to Rosalind Russell shining. But its great boxoffice success a decade ago thanks to the stars like Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon and Katherine Heigl (and of course Meg Ryan before them) has dwindled into nothingness.

That's because cliches and familiar scripts became increasingly tired, resembling the cinematic equivalent of those 4th down the pile carbon copies back in the day when we all dutifully inserted carbon paper into our typewriters.

So Jonathan Morgan, chief comedy director at Wicked forever, trots out many a "comedy adventure" for the label with nary a thought of originality. His job is to deliver semi-arousing explicit sex scenes within a rom-com structure, and he does this competently. God forbid it is interesting (though I recently watched his quite remarkable diversion from the norm, an Alektra Blue-starrer "Best Day Ever" that hit the spot).

Alektra plays the gossipy friend at work to fellow contract star and lead player Samantha Saint, one of Wicked's less impressive girls. Christian, taking a sort of holiday from his usual fetish work (servicing trans-females and the like) plays the office bully and sexual harasser -you know the type. In this context his utterances and misbehavior pass for humor -perhaps Trump is the target audience (a man who appreciates locker-room horseplay and talk).

The uncredited script is not terrible, but mostly plays as a parody of itself by presenting unfiltered corn. Central premise is an unknown admirer who sends Sam flowers at work with a card "from a secret admirer" - can a movie get much cornier than that.

A list of suspects is trotted out, most of whom are accorded a sex scene, but in a weird marketing ploy the DVD cover photo upgrades Dick Chibbles to equal footing with the male leads. He's merely a co-worker of Christian's, and plays a minor NonSex Role that is uncredited - doing double duty as p.a. on the film crew.

I can't really spoil anything but won't reveal the actual admirer, because when he is unmasked in the final reel it's about as surprising as naming the lawyer who wins on a Perry Mason episode. But the roster includes James Deen, horrible as a big-shot with the firm who is the subject of a sexual fantasy spun by Alektra; Danny Mountain as a handsome stud on the payroll, Dane Cross as the kid from the mailroom (ample MILF material for a co-worker named Ms. Robinson, of course), and on loan from Brazzers good old Mr. Clean himself Johnny Sins.

The femme cast is far more impressive, with bombastic Alektra and blonde Saint flanked by wonderful Diana Prince as the aforementioned Carol Robinson and Ash Hollywood as a dominatrix who ball-gags Christian and abuses him just short of pegging.