Hardware Wars (1978) Online

I laughed. I cried because I was laughing so hard. The 10 bucks I spent on the video were well worth it, and I willingly kissed them good-bye. This is the only top-notch Star Wars parody out there. Although it is nothing near a full-length feature film, this is yet to be topped comedy wise. The wookie monster will always make me laugh. The only thing is, I wish they didn't add those pathetic new digital features. Don't get me wrong; they didn't take away from the movie at all. They really didn't dit in with the rest of the film though. New effects or not, this is a worth-while movie. 10 out of 10.

So funny is the perfect way to describe this 12 minutes spoof of the original Star Wars. Hardware Wars is incredibly funny. It is presented as the trailer of the space epic Hardware Wars. The joke is this: imagine Star Wars played by bad actors and incredibly bad special effects. The characters include the "intergalactic boy-wonder" Fluke Starbucker, the "ace mercenary and intergalactic wise guy" Ham Salad, Darph Nader, "villain" and a host of other fantastic characters. It is impossible not to laugh as you watch this 12 minutes treasure. It's stupid but it's fun. You will laugh from the start to the end, and you will feel the need to watch it again, and again, and again, and again... And you will laugh every time you see it!!!

10 out of 10. The funniest 12 minutes ever made. You will believe it lasted a minute!

Out of all the parodies of Star Wars I've seen, this is probably the funniest. Not because of the premise, Star Wars with simple electronics instead of spaceships, but because of how poorly acted it is. This is purposely overacted, and it makes it hilarious, and since everyone knows its purposely overacted, no one complains. The special effects were also purposely as awful as can be, and include a toaster on a visible string that shoots toast, and an egg beater on a string. This short is funny for any fan of Star Wars (which I'm not), or anyone that has 15 minutes to kill. Great short!!

My rating: *** out of ****. 13 mins. Not rated.

A perfect spoof of Star Wars. This 15 minute quickie is a hilarious short film made immediately after the first Star Wars. It is littered and loaded with tons of jokes. All are funny. And such memorable characters as Fluke Starbuker and Augie Ben Doggie. Those two should be in more movies. The new version with cheesy computer graphics kind of takes away from the low budget homemade feel of the original. I saw this when I was four and couldn't find anyone who had ever heard of it for 14 years. I began to think it was all a figment of my young mind's imagination when I saw it at a video store in Mokena ayear or two ago. Watched thousands of times since. I've also shown it to 40 or 50 people who had never heard of it. They all loved it. If you can find it watch it. And may the farce be with you.

This movie had a whopping budget of only $8,000, and it shows.

The thing is, the director knew what he was doing, and made a very enjoyable movie.

Acting is corny, the set design came from a yard sale, and there is no real plot outside of spoofing Star Wars ... BUT it is an enjoyable movie to watch, and has a lot of humor.

It is hard not to chuckle at a guy wearing a welding hood, who's catch line is "Darth Nader, naughty person".

It is also interesting the movie is self aware, such as it's catch phrase "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss $3 good by"

Excellent example of a good movie, made with no budget!

The DVD has been released in the UK now- but you'll have to hunt for it. Although it may seem pricey for a short film, but there's bags of extras....and it saves you from buying any other guff. Furthermore, It's possibly one of the funniest flicks ever. Just buy it.

Nothing is sacred. Just ask Ernie Fosselius. These days, everybody has a video camera, and a movie is hardly out before the spoofs start flying, quickly written and shot, and often posted directly to the internet. Spoofs are hot these days, and we go out of our way to make sure filmmakers don't get off on their own self-importance. 25 years ago, when the first Star Wars was made, it was a different world. Filmmaking was the playground of a select few and spoofs were very rare. Then God gave us Hardware Wars. It was shot to look cheap (or was it just cheap?) and the audio was obviously recorded after the fact. Does that take away from the experience? HECK NO! That's what makes it so great! It was raw and unpolished, and hit relentlessly on some of the more pretentious moments of the original movie. From Fluke Starbucker waving around a flashlight instead of a lightsaber (I did that when I was young!) to Chewchilla the Wookie Monster, to Auggie Ben Doggie's "nah, just a little headache" remark, this film short is as much a part of the phenomenon as any of the actual Star Wars films. Rent it. Buy it. Borrow it from a friend. And may the Farce be with you. Always.

I just got the DVD for Hardware Wars, in a shiny new package, looking irresistable. Stuck it in my DVD player to find a slew of extra fun stuff. The extra content on the DVD is even longer than the movie. For those of you that have (shame!) never seen Hardware Wars, it one fantastically silly Star Wars spoof (of Episode IV, of course). Household appliances (such as irons, toasters, vacuums, and a waffle maker) stand in for Ty-fighters, X-wings, R2D2, and the death star. Instead of Princess Leia, we have Princess Ann-Droid, complete with Cinnabon hairdo. You get the point, I'm sure. Mad silliness, and a fun ride for any Star Wars geek (like me!)

Now, the DVD - wow! A director's commentary where he basically goes off on the movie, making fun of himself and the project throughout. An interview with Fosselius on Creature Features (remember that?!) and hilarious "director's cut" and "foreign version" of the movie (all jokes of course). Anyway, this is great. I loved Hardware Wars in the theater, and am so glad for having the DVD in my collection - wedged in between MST3K: the movie and Thumb Wars!

Undoubtedly the funniest movie I have ever seen. It's definitely worth the fourteen minutes it takes to watch. I will never look at my kitchen appliances the same way again. Bob Knickerbocker deserves an Oscar. "Relax, kid. It's only a movie"

Very good spoof! I highly recommend this to any Star Wars fan! This was one of the best low-budget films I have ever seen! I had to buy it when I saw it on sale!!

May The Farce Be With You!!!!

The latter part of the 1970's seemed to breed spoofs (many of them cheap) and "Hardware Wars" was the best, despite being 15 minutes long and having a budget of $1.98. Presented as a movie trailer, "Hardware Wars" recounts about 80% of Lucas' film using cardboard sets, the director's garage, and every concievable household appliance as ray guns, spaceships, light sabres, the nameless "Death Star" waffle iron, even the Imperial stormtroopers and sand people! It's obvious that this film influenced the set design of "Mystery Science Theater 3000", down to the visible wires holding up the spaceships. A great short, and one that needs to be seen by every film student.

Fourteen of the funniest minutes on celluloid. This short parody is at least as much a part of the Star Wars saga as Phantom Menace, and far more entertaining, if you ask me. Hardware Wars was the first in a long line of SW spoofs which form their own subgenre these days. I hate to describe it too much-it's so short that the premise is just about the whole thing. Suffice it to say that many of the most popular and familiar aspects of Star Wars have fun poked at them. Household appliances such as toasters and vacuum cleaners portray spaceships and robots, the Princess Anne-Droid character wears actual bread rolls on her head instead of the famous coils of braided hair, and Fluke Starbucker is even more of a dork than his original, if that's possible. Ernie Fosselius is one crazy son-of-a-buck-he's also the source of Porklips Now, the Apocalypse Now spoof.

Done on a spare change budget of twenty bucks tops, this cheapie thirteen minute short cheerfully parodies George Lucas' legendary '77 sci-fi blockbuster "Star Wars" in the most infectiously dumb way imaginable. Writer/director Ernie Fosselius delivers a winning and often gut-busting blend of ludicrous sound effects, ineptly staged action scenes, cruddy (far from) special effects (you just gotta love the cheesy scratched-on-film lasers, tinfoil asteroids, and household appliances ... eer, I mean spaceships being swung around on obvious wires), badly dubbed in dialogue, shamelessly hammy acting, and Richard Wagner's rousing piece of classical music "Ride of the Valkyries." The characters are presented in suitably broad strokes; my favorites are whiny wimp Fluke Starbucker, venerable Jedi knight Auggie "Ben" Doggie, and hateful arch villain Darph Nader (who spouts nothing but incomprehensible gibberish). Moreover, 4-Q-3 is clearly based on the Tin Man from "The Wizard of Oz" while Artie Deco is definitely a cheap vacuum cleaner. This film's true masterstroke is casting legendary voice actor supreme Paul Frees as the narrator; Frees' deliciously rich and plummy histrionic tones add immensely to the considerable silly, yet sidesplitting tongue-in-cheek merriment (choice lines: "You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll kiss three bucks goodbye!"). A total hoot.

The hysterical Hardware Wars is finally out on DVD. HW has earned its niche among parody classics and is not only a riotous little 20 minute short but a staple in low budget film production classes, which is where a lot of the film's cult status is derived from and resides. With the DVD, not only do we get a chance to revisit the original parody (4Q2, Cinnamon-Bun Head, Ballistic Toast, et al) that Ernie F. did in 1978, but there is a lot of additional material showcasing the Fosselius wit. Antique Sideshow is a dead-on parody that is very funny but makes a statement about the confluence of ignorance and greed at the same time. The Director's Commentary is also hysterical, as is the Creature Feature which parodies taking a film out on the talk-show circuit and actually IS based on taking HW out on the talk show circuit, albeit the public access circuit. I'd love to see Ernie, Michael Wiese and crew take on some other, contemporary overblown and overbudgeted targets to parody -- like just about any film that Hollywood churns out at $100 million a pop these days -- not so much the crafty films like Spider Man or Men In Black (actually parodies themselves!) but any number of overblown, overhyped, overwrought and overpriced features.

This is the kind of film that might give you a nightmare, besides that it's a lot of fun.

Hardware Wars is the only good spoof on Star Wars, other films like Spaceballs have failed. This is the only good spoof film I have ever seen, it doesn't rip-off Star Wars, it makes fun of it, and that's what spoofs are supposed to be.

This is a ridiculously amateurish-looking parody of Star Wars, but it is so goofy that it is really entertaining. It sort of makes you feel, watching it, like you could make a movie, too. You can feel the fun that the people who made it had while they were doing it.

A lot of the jokes are fun, and the idea is so funny that it alone is worth the price.

Some of the other features on the DVD are good, too. There is an excellent "antique road show" parody, and listening to Michael Wiese gives you a sort of unusual insight into trying to break into the Hollywood world.

Anyway, as the Star Wars saga drones endlessly on, periodically filling cineplexes with vapid storylines and bloated effects, it is a great antidote. They have become all skill and no heart. This little parody is the opposite.

Auggie Ben Doggie? Chewbacca as Cookie Monster, gnawing on the Princess' cinnamon-roll hairdo? Yes, all this and a flying toaster in "Hardware Wars", one of those rare gems they used to play between films on HBO in the early 80's. All the same, it's not as funny as "Pork Lips Now", an "Apocalypse Now" parody by the same team, which can be seen on the same tape if you go rent this at the video store. This kind of half-baked 70's lo-tech humour is sadly missed.....

20 minutes of purely wholesome, silly Star Wars spoof fun. Watching "Hardware Wars" really made me think about how there wasn't really that much to the whole first Star Wars film (it boils it down into less than half an hour and still has the same themes and story as the original). It's a good film just to watch if you want to amuse your friends, but I could see how "Hardware Wars" could lose some of it's spunk after a few viewings. A few friends of mine actually couldn't wait for it to be over, which is understandable if you get tired of lowbrow, silly humor easily. The newly added computer generated graphics seem to detract a little from the whole, but hell, if it drags it out a little longer, all the better. Imagine a MAD Magazine article brought to life, and that's the perfect summation of "Hardware Wars". And the box cover looks pretty neat too.

Mel Brooks's "Spaceballs" is the famous spoof of "Star Wars", but an earlier one was Ernie Fosselius's "Hardware Wars", deliberately made to look amateur. The weapons and spaceships are household items, and the C3PO-like robot even quotes Oliver Hardy's famous line!

You can tell that this is one movie that they had fun making. No budget, but 100% clever. You're sure to enjoy it. To put it another way, you'll never find a sillier hive of goofiness and parody.

Nothing is sacred in Ernie Fosselius' "Hardware Wars", a 13-minute trailer that takes droll to a whole new level. And that's why it's still the best in the well-tread "Star Wars send-up" genre.

It's a film that demands not to be taken seriously, delighting in pointing out the clichés and plot holes of the original "Star Wars" and playing them up for maximum chuckles. With character names like Fluke Starbucker, Ham Salad (this one kills me), and Darph Nader, and a muppet standing in for Chewbacca, I don't see how anyone warm-blooded mammal can sit through this without a cheesy grin or at least a facepalm. And when you throw in the found objects that make for the film's "tech" (a basketball Death Star, flying toasters, tape recorders, and steam irons), the entire film is just one big visual gag.

"Hardware Wars" cries out audience participation, demanding to be seen with a large group. ... Complete with cinnamon buns on the head and waving around flashlights.

8/10

This short makes plainly clear that you don't need a huge budget or big stars to make brilliant humor. Star Wars has tons of clichés and plot holes that make it ripe for parody picking. Ernie Fosselius, with a shoestring budget cranked out this gem at the height of Star Wars mania. Compare it with Spaceballs. Mel Brooks' reputation got him cart blanch green lighting, a $22.7 million budget, and a cast of talented and funny stars as well as an army of the best comedy writers, including Brooks himself. Despite all that, he produced a true stinker! Spaceballs is below the sophistication level of a 12 year old boy, the jokes and gags are overly explained and overt. I'm a big fan of parodies and generally love Mel Brooks' films but that waste of my time couldn't get a single laugh from me. Perfect proof that money, talent and advertising do not equal good comedy. This short was made by a cast of amateurs with mostly 'found items' for props, for around $2000 and only takes 15 minutes to watch! It's 'off the cuff', 'don't take yourself too seriously' feel is a lot like Mystery Science Theater 3000. I laughed till I cried watching this and periodically re-watch it just for a pick me up. Find Hardware Wars on YouTube and see what real comedy is like.

I haven't seen "Hardware Wars" in years, but I remember it as one of the most hilarious events of human experience, and it was over far too soon. Every aspect of this movie was hilarious, and it was even better than "Star Wars." I laughed. I cried. After watching it, I asked a family member for a moment with three dollars just so I could kiss it goodbye (I'm kidding about the last one). I love it when Ham Salad's sidekick/co-pilot tries to eat Princess Anne Droid's cinnamon hair buns, and the Darph Nader character is just hilarious! This film would be great to watch back-to-back with "Thumb Wars," and I sincerely wish there could have been a "Hardware Wars, Episode II: The Umpire Strikes Out." (Was there?)

After buying the excellent DVD yesterday, I have become a bona fide HARDWARE WARS fan! Done as a mock trailer for an unmade film, this obscenely low-budget and obscenely funny short is a film I wish I'd seen before, and I am embarassed that at one time, for about 2 hours, I couldn't stand it. If any of you has not seen HARDWARE WARS, I suggest you do immediatement!

James Teller