Hot Resort (1985) Online

The setup in "Hot resort" is simple. A group of guys work at a summer resort to make a buck and try to get chicks. Simple and easy. There's some standard trials and tribulations. Will the lowly pool boy get the beautiful rich chick? Will the fat kid get laid? And so on, and there's an aditional plot concerning the making of a soup commercial featuring a team of rowers that the resort workers have to compete with.

The really good thing about this film that makes it well worth catching if it shows up on TV is its complete lack of morals. Unlike most films nowadays, and especially teen films, "Hot resort" doesn't try to make the viewer walk away with some sort of deep insight. The characters quest is simple and pure: Get chicks, get laid, get drunk, get money, get even with the snobs and generally enjoy yourself. There's plenty of cursing, and naked flesh. It's a feel good movie where the feeling good doesn't necessarily mean finding the love of your life.

"Hot resort" Is clearly trying to ride the wave of 80s teen movies, and cash in on showing naked girls on the screen, so some might call it a bit of a rip off. However, the moral-free approach in my opinion, transforms this film from cheap rip off to 90 well spent minutes of uncomplicated 80s fun. I won't compare this film to such a masterpiece as "Animal house", but I think it has some of the same anarchistic spirit to it. Highly recommended if you like 80s movies.

The decadence and sex-obsessed excess of the 80s are in full regalia here in HOT RESORT. The setting is a luxurious Caribbean resort where many of the vacationers have nothing but sex on the mind it seems. HOT RESORT's heroes are "poor" American hotel resort employees looking to score by whatever means possible(sex not drugs), sometimes with little effort(everyone seems horny as if Spanish fly where an epidemic you catch by breathing). Our heroes get involved in a soup commercial rowing competition with rich, pretentious actors who talk like the Howells from GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. Meanwhile Marty(Tom Parsekian)spends the entire film trying to romance Liza(Debra Kelly). Liza is staying at the resort with gal pal Franny(Marcy Walker; probably best known for her stint on the soap opera, SANTA BARBARA); Marty is immediately smitten with Liza and tries to convince her that he's the man for her. With Bronson Pinchot in an early performance as wise-cracking resort employee Brad, Frank Gorshin as Mr. Green(he won the resort vacation on a game show), and Stephen Stucker(the flamboyant, spirited gay comic who would die a year later of AIDS, known best for his scene stealing in AIRPLANE!)as a member of the hotel staff. Samm-Art Williams is over the staff, as Bill Martin, attempting to run the employees as if they were part of a military platoon. This sex comedy tries hard, with plenty of vulgarity(just not exactly laugh-out funny)and nudity to spare.

This addition to the "Teens at Summer Resort" genre is both bad and odd. Firstly, it isn't funny and adding Frank Gorshin (billed as "Mr. Frank Gorshin" Salute that!) into the mix to add humor fails miserably. Gorshin has nothing funny to do. The film is also badly cast in the four male leads--all of them are dull, even Bronson Pinchot who seems uncomfortable playing the street-savvy, suave New Yorker ladies man. What's odd is the film starts out as a zany and vulgar comedy, but by the end it's all sweet natured, romantic and straight-laced. Odd also that the best actors and characters in the film, two females the boys meet played by Casey Nye and Dana Kaminsky, appear in the middle of the film then disappear soon after. A sad waste. And there is one moment of eye-popping nudity from Kaminsky who reveals an amazingly large chest on such a small gal. Otherwise, this is a waste of time.

Here's another four guys go for some sand, sex, and surf, not necessarily in that order. When seeing the film a few years later after it hit video, then watching it a few more times in the coming years, I don't know, but this one just grew on me. We have a couple of familiar face, some that of quite esteemed actors. God knows what they're doing performing this much. Although it's entertaining muck. We have some nice hotties of course, one who really caught my eye, a tall nice lovely, looking great in her bikini. Pity her friend, is a real stuck up sort. Having a few respected actors in this, I guess is part of the reason's this films, better. It actually has smarter dialogue than you would expect for this sort of tripe too. Tom Parkiensen, the likable lead (who really loves to pack heavy when it comes to contraceptives) and his mates go on a summer job to the island of good ole St Kitts, where they bump heads with not only their employer, but a stuck up bunch of college guys, who form a rowing team who speak uppity, slow and fluent. If you want to try their accent, just clamp your teeth together and speak. What's good is the two hotties eventually wind up, not with those guys, where they too have to act out a commercial, slurping soup that is obviously abominable. There are some quite funny moment, some involving late veteran Frank Gorshin, as a senior guest. See: an actor you wouldn't expect to pop up in something like this, as Sammi Art Williams, the black bartender from Blood Simple. And of course, Bronson Pinchot, (Beverly Hills Cop's Serge) another college kid working his buns off for Summer. We actually have a humping couple, where a guys back goes on him, and they have to cut open this car. Another scene, we have the good guys, taking four other sweet things out, as a request from the owner, his dying father, almost croaking, but coming back to life, when the guys and girls come back to his place. A nice scene within the section of film, has a girl exposing her abundant goodies to Parkinnsen, where she can't hold back the desire to sc.ew him, where he'd rather be more discreet. As far as these kind of movies go, you could do worse, where this out of the norm one, just seems to be more fun, especially when you see the new present an old codger has brought his wife, near the films end. We too have that funny ditsy guy from Flying High as part of the staff. But on the whole, Hot Resort is a sex comedy for the undemanding, despite a lot of nice scenic features. One of the out of ordinary or offbeat scenes, even has an orgy filled closet.

Carrying a suitcase full of condoms, smooth Tom Parsekian (as Marty Sullivan) goes to work at a resort hotel in the Caribbean. Accompanying him are two friends, nerdy Michael Berz (as Kenny) and chubby Daniel Schneider (as Chuck). They form a horny quartet with wisecracking Bronson Pinchot (as Brad), who is already employed at the hotel. Keeping his own sexual desires top secret, loud manager Samm-Art Williams (as Bill Martin) advises his employees, "Put your peckers on hold!" Of course, this does not happen...

Everyone in the film gets some action. You get some topless flashes and adult language, but few laughs. In his leading role, Mr. Parsekian succeeds by being among the less annoying characters. You wouldn't guess it from this role, but Mr. Pinchot became a TV star on "Perfect Strangers" (1986). In a "Special Guest Appearance", "Batman" villain and impressionist Frank Gorshin (as Mr. Green) makes little use of his skills. The subplots include a rowing contest with some wealthy rivals, being filmed for a soup commercial.

*** Hot Resort (1/25/85) John Robins ~ Tom Parsekian, Michael Berz, Bronson Pinchot, Dan Schneider

Watch this if....you are in the mood for a cheesy, no holds barred comedy. It achieves its goal of being cheesy, full of bad jokes, and downright silly.

Acting/Casting: 4* - It is pretty bad for the most part, but I feel like it was supposed to be. I don't think anyone involved really thought this was going to be their break out film, but I might be wrong. Either way, there is no Oscar worthy performances and there is a reason that most of the cast is unrecognizable almost 30 years later. That said, I did enjoy the antagonists, the way they talk cracked me up.

Directing/Cinematography/Technical: 4* - The directing is sub-par as the movie is not extremely well structured and more focused on nudity and sex than anything else. I still think that was the intentions all along when the movie was made.

Plot/Characters: 5* - A set of friends from New York take a summer job at a Caribbean resort in hopes of scoring with women and end up feuding with resort staff and a elitist rowing team who is staying there for a commercial shoot. This is fairly run of the mill and not going to blow you away, but is still fun.

Entertainment Value: 6.5* - Let me say despite all of the above, I was pleasantly surprised and entertained. I didn't go into it with high expectations and found it to refreshingly fun and at times comical.

My Score: 4+4+5+6.5 = 19.5/4 = 4.875

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