Tian ya guai ke yi zhen feng (1981) Online

I saw this Taiwanese kung fu flick under the title GOLD CONSTABLES which is appropriate. It was also re-titled NINJA PIRATES during the 1980s VHS ninja boom but it has nothing to do with anything like that, so don't be fooled. However, this turns out to be a pretty decent movie of its type, with a fast paced and intriguing plot to keep you watching.

The opening and closing segments of the film are by far the most interesting parts, chiefly down to the appearance of Lo Lieh in another of his stock villain performances. The opening scene, which sees him pull off a gold shipment robbery before bumping off his associates one by one, is classic stuff indeed. The ending, a showdown in a quarry between multiple opponents, is more predictable, but still bloody enough to be interesting.

In between we get the usual intrigue-type plotting and various characters double crossing each other or teaming up to work together. Carter Wong bags another erstwhile hero role and is fine in the part while Nancy Yen shines as a female fighter. Old-time star James Tien (he of the instantly recognisable features) also has a very small role but it was nice to see him regardless. There's enough well-delivered action here to stop the story becoming tedious, and the participants get to show off their superior skills which adds conviction to their roles.

I should mention at the start that there are no real ninjas in this movie nor are there pirates except in the non-nautical sense (ie. one who preys on others). Why this film is called Ninja Pirates is lost to me. This could of course be the result of a cut print or bad dub, but since there is no place for them to fit, I highly doubt it.

The plot has to do with a a load of gold in a government warehouse. Three unconnected men are summoned to a meeting with a promise of money. Once there the person who summoned the three tells them that he will pay them a fortune if they help him rob the warehouse. When the three hesitate, the man blackmails them into helping. Once the job is done the benefactor turns the three against each other and then kills the survivor. The benefactor then disappears into the night with the gold. The rest of the movie is the interaction of various police officials, bounty hunters, and grieving relatives all trying to find out who took the gold and where id it go.

You'll forgive the lack of description of the plot past the robbery, but it doesn't make a great deal of sense. Its a good number of characters running around getting into fights in the name of finding the gold, but very few little investigation is done, just fighting. It plays as if this was suppose to be a Chinese mystery about missing gold that had a martial arts movie grafted on to it. Anytime there would be an investigation they instead had a fight. Its not logical and becomes a bit confusing, but at the same time its fun to watch.

I liked this movie, more so on the second go round. I think it took being able to accept that the movie doesn't make a great deal of sense for me to be able to just enjoy the silliness of the plot and the beauty of the fights. Far from a great movie, it is enjoyable in a mindless popcorn for the brain sort of way. This is a movie that you watch on a Saturday night when you want nothing more to do then unwind. Not high art but worth your time and some popcorn if you run across this on TV on a rainy Saturday.

This is a great movie, but it still lacks the zombies and robots required to make this a blockbuster hit. People have asked the question for ages, "Would pirates or ninja's win in an epic battle?" This movie fails to answer the question, but instead shows the viewers the power of the too combined. But the characters are confused when given the option of stealth and solitude, or swashbucklery and wenches. The movie ends with a mutiny splitting the group back into their own worlds. Hopefully the age old question will be answered in the sequel.