Through the Keyhole Online

This has the very simple premise of three panelists trying to guess the identity of a celeb by having Loyd Grossman wander around their house pointing out their well stocked bookshelf , their designer kitchen etc . Sounds exciting doesn`t it ? As exciting as watching paint dry .

The panel is usually composed of celebrities no one has heard of but who are no doubt legends in their own minds , but the worst thing is the celebrity guests themselves . David Frost says " Well for the audience at home here`s whose house that is " then the camera cuts to an author whose books no one ever buys , or a newspaper columnist no one has ever heard of , or a bistro owner who only seems to open his doors to the celebs on the panel . For some reason the panel usually guess the identity of the person which is strange since the audience don`t know who they are . Ironically one celeb the panel didn`t get was former BLUE PETER presenter Peter Duncan , one of the few guests I have actually heard of .

THROUGH THE KEYHOLE often turns up on the graveyard slot of the afternoon schedules but when it was first broadcast in the mid 80s it was shown at peaktime Friday nights . It`s amazing what rubbish TV executives think will go down well with the public

Now here's a weird concept. Loyd Grossman takes us on a private tour of the house of somebody who's ridiculously famous (or not as the case may be). Three other ridiculously famous people (or not as the case may be) try to guess who's house Loyd is wandering around aided by applause (or lack of) from the studio audience. Meanwhile David "hello, good evening and welcome" Frost oversees this charade. Regardless of whether the panel get the right celebrity or not, they come out, have a brief chat and repeat again with somebody else.

This would be a somewhat plausible show if it weren't for a few minor niggles. Firstly, the people "who's house it is". Always somebody obscure that 97% of people watching won't have heard of. They usually turn out to be book authors or ex actors/actresses or some poor sap who was standing outside Elstree at the wrong time. To be fair though, since it was relegated to daytime filler TV, there probably wasn't enough budget to get high-brow stars.

Loyd Grossman is another minor niggle. He gets the honour of wandering around the homes of the rich and famous pointing out all manner of things which supposedly offer clues as to who's house it is. This is the most interesting bit of the show. You can look but you can't touch. Even the rich and famous (by this show's standards) sometimes have awful decor in their homes.

The studio audience get to see who's house it is, though they probably have no more idea of who the face is than we do. While the panel starts playing "Give Us A Clue" with the audience (clap endlessly for yes, don't bother for no), then eventually pluck a name out of thin air, it's usually right and that individual is invited to "come through the keyhole". And they do - the entrance is a keyhole. Wow.

Oddly enough, the panel is more high-profile than the owner of the house. Names such as Richard "twice nightly" Whiteley, Linda *snip snip* Barker, Andrew O'Connor and even Peter Sissons. Perhaps it would have been a better idea to have three obscure authors on the panel trying to work out that we're wandering around the home of somebody whom most people have heard of.

In all, looks cheap, is cheap and is just generally cheap. Don't go out of your way to watch it.

((author update March 2009) My comment was referring to the daytime version of Through The Keyhole. When the show was prime-time the guests were more high-brow than they would be on a daytime variant. Perhaps I should have made this clearer at the time. Amazing what five years does to you :))

If you see Neiljones1981 (whom I am sure is a lovely person) comment on the programme it's not far off being accurate. What is totally inaccurate in his comment is his version of just how famous the panelists and the home owners are. OK so they do from time to time have those that are not that well known but they have also had exceedingly famous people on the show and loads of others in between. The range therefore is from the not so famous to the very famous indeed. Names as big as those of Jackie collins and Linford Christie have appeared on Through The Keyhole so to say that no-one really well know is never on the programme is complete and utter rubbish. Maybe he has a weird sense as to just what is a famous name! lol! Either that or it is that the only ones he's has seen just haven't had anyone that famous in. I would say the latter! Sit back and enjoy the programme as it is a lot of fun to try and work out the owner of the property and see the famous panelists at it too.