Confessions of a Cheating Housewife (2009) Online

Hopefully I'll never sit through a thousand of Cash Markman/Marc Cushman's videos, but having seen about 8% of his output so far I've discovered the secret of his being such a prolific screenwriter. He delivers only the absolute minimum each time, and nothing more.

Such is the case with this tired Penthouse Letters DVD, its title contradicted as usual, with five vignettes purporting to show us infidelities of 5 MILFs. All the story is in voice-over, except for Darryl Hanah talking directly to the camera, framed behind some phony jail bars to symbolize (yeah, right) her being trapped in her marriage, yearning to break free. Unfortunately for her, she has adultery with Dane Cross, in one of his hundred stereotyped roles as king of the MILF bait.

Breast in show goes to the uber-sexy (and molto stacked) Veronica Rayne, who in my parallel universe is a lot more alluring than her superstar prototype Lisa Ann ever was. Of course, in the fake tits department Kagney Linn Karter reigns supreme here, humping Tommy Gunn

Obligatory lesbian scene has Monique Alexander cheating on hubby with a girl, in the form of Alyssa Reece.

The only moment of creativity does not come in the feature but rather in the DVD subtitle when one presses the remote to ascertain the running time: it abbreviates the title with the acronym "C_O_A_C_H" - wish I'd thought of that.