Blackbelt II (1989) Online

Brad Spyder (Bahner) is an L.A. cop with an attitude problem. He must travel to Hawaii to investigate the death of a partner. His "punch first and ask questions later and then punch them again" style means he encounters resistance from the local cops, led by Akida (Diaz). There's also some nonsensical mumbo-jumbo about Vietnam and POW's that was only put in because of the piecemeal patchwork that this is...

Technically speaking, we're not entirely sure this is even a movie. By any rational standard, editing, splicing, and re-ordering film footage doesn't necessarily make a film, much less a coherent piece of entertainment. The editors here get an A for effort, as they try desperately to make disparate footage fit together, but it's like trying to join two puzzle pieces together that clearly don't fit.

Going from L.A. to Hawaii to Vietnam, to a Vietnam that's supposed to be Hawaii, we get some narration about Vietnam, then some urban cop action with Bahner, then it reverts back to an Exploding Hut jungle movie, and on and on. There's zero character development along the way, so you cannot become invested at all in what's going on. Rather than introduce the slightest bit of character for Brad Spyder (aside from his awesome name), the movie just jumps into an overly-long, protracted punching sequence on top of a building. Then there's the amazingly clichéd Irish police chief O'Donnel (Dulaney) - actually a lot of this movie could be a parody.

Bahner yells all his lines, and resembles Andrew Dice Clay (who had a brief action movie career of his own). Presumably Roger Corman felt he could put out this mishmash as some sort of "sequel" to the Don the Dragon movie Blackbelt (1992), seeing as it follows the formula of being 80 minutes and having at least Bahner's credit also include his kickboxing title underneath it. Firstly, Bahner is no Don the Dragon, but perhaps he's not supposed to be. Corman caught lightning in a bottle with one action star, and he tried again and basically failed. Secondly, releasing this hodgepodge to the public is actually insulting to our intelligence. Did he, or anyone else, not think we would notice all the glaring Frankenstein-like parts to this?

Blackbelt 2 could have used another B-movie name in the cast (aside from the ubiquitous Vic Diaz), or a rockin' song, or a scintilla of coherence or cohesion - anything except falling back on references to the First Blood series, which it does. But on the bright side it does have a rich businessman named Roderick Pendleton (Holme) and a character named Weasel (Louie Del Castillo), whose hair and mustache out-Oates-es Oates. His entire film career consists of this, the "movie" Spyder, from which the footage for this was taken, and Saigon Commandos (1988). Now that's a career to be proud of. Now might also be an opportune time to mention that there's always an annoying character named Squid, Spud, Baby, Weasel, or what-have-you. Feel free to write a comment if you can think of another example. Seeing as this footage (is it really a movie?) consists of nothing, you can't help but regard it as a waste of time. Sad really, as the name Brad Spyder deserves more.

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On a good day, BLACKBELT II would get two stars instead of one. The film has some B-movie charm to it and, realistically, isn't the worst you can go when it comes to low-budget action pictures. Nevertheless, the technical laziness and storyline hodgery of Blake Bahner's guns & karate vehicle weigh in on my nerves enough that I don't feel very generous. Chances are you've never heard of this movie before now, and with good reason: there is absolutely nothing special about the film, leading it to languish in utter obscurity.

The story: When the partner of renegade cop Brad Spyder (Bahner) is murdered while investigating the reappearance of his thought-dead brother in Hawaii, he makes it his mission to find out what happened and discovers a deadly crime syndicate trying to swindle money out of a desperate father (Paul Holme)...

The meat of the plot is that this syndicate (led by Gary "Skinner" Rooney and Michael "Friedkin" Vlastas) has promised the aforementioned father the return of his son, who went missing in Vietnam, but plan to trick him with the false testament of a fake POW before stealing his money. The idea has some potential, but it's presented in such a convoluted manner that few viewers will be troubled to continue to follow its development after the first half-hour. There's a political half-statement regarding the expendability of soldiers and the facilitation of a theory that, when too many soldiers deserted the military in Vietnam, they were declared MIA to cover up the embarrassment. Weird.

However, what kills the movie dead is its poor production. Far too many scenes are shot under dark lighting and have a bleak, washed-out look that makes this 1993 film seem like it was made in 1980. Expect incorrectly-synched sound effects galore. Worse still is the movie's atrocious editing, which not only cuts every shot half a second too early but also denies the film any ebb or flow via chronic inconsistencies between shots and a general lack of comprehensible pace. This carries over to the action scenes, which were the movie's last chance at any cinematic worth. A combination of bloody-but-unremarkable shootouts and worthless fistfights disappoints something awful. Blake Bahner has some decent kicks and more or less looks the part of the next Van Damme-wannabe, but save for so-so brawl he has with Gary Rooney at the end of the picture, the four fights either make dreadful overuse of the "many shots, one strike, quick edit" technique or are simply executed so lifelessly that it's very difficult to care who wins.

With the exception of "the jolly evil fat man of Filipino exploitation cinema" Vic Diaz, the cast is made up almost exclusively of bit-players and the acting is roundly questionable. The subliminal weirdness of the story and how the movie and the wonky production values might ultimately appeal to hardcore B-movie lovers, but this film clearly isn't for me. Rest assured, it has no connection beyond its title with the original Don Wilson outing, therein eliminating its final glimmer of possible intrigue. Continue to ignore this movie; it might as well not even exist.

BLACKBELT II: FATAL FORCE is a Roger Corman-produced, shot in the Philippines action cheapie and one of those movies that stars a lump of walking meat in the lead role. Blake Bahner plays the unlikely-monikered Brad Spyder, heading off to Hawaii for some fun but instead finding himself leading an investigation into the murder of his own partner; a nasty killer is at work. This is one of those movies that turns out to liberally borrow stock footage from better films, and it's unsurprising that it was produced by Filipino head honcho Cirio H. Santiago. Other than a brief role for Vic Diaz, it's not much fun at all, sadly, with the best bits borrowed from elsewhere.