Solitude (2014) Online

They sure can make a movie sound way better than it actually is, huh? Such is the case for this stinker.

The story is about some fellow who inherits a big old mess. Seems his long-dead relatives lived on a cursed land (where a hairy arm complete with big fingernails) lives and has promised to wreak havoc until...KMart has 24/7 blue light specials.

Cheaply done, horribly written, terribly acted, and lasting about 50 minutes too long (the movie actually clocks in at 89 minutes, but, you get my drift), this is just plain awful. I was put off in the first two minutes when the "hero" did nothing but whine and cry, as most heroes do, but I digress. He is then "off to see the wizard," but only encounters Squaw Ugly-Mug, who looks constipated throughout the movie. Honestly, this one is SO bad, it could become a cult favorite.

Rated "R" for bad acting, the poorest special effects, and one constipated squaw, stay the hell away from this one.

If you're watching this looking for a good scary movie you will be severely disappointed. The acting is horrendous, the story is non existent and the filming quality is on a whole new level of terrible. Much of the film is in black and white for no good reason. I lasted approximately 10 minutes before I couldn't handle it anymore. I honestly can't recall ever watching anything this bad and that's no exaggeration. How this garbage ever got produced is a mystery to me. Stay far away from this one as it has no redeeming qualities whatsoever and your money is better flushed down the toilet. If anything ever deserved a rating of 0 it's this one.

The film is listed as "Comedy, Horror, Mystery" at IMDb but fails to excel in any category.

When James Erickson's (Armin Habibovich) mother dies, she leaves behind a cardboard box with newspaper clippings, journals, etc. The bulk of the film consists of James going through the box and we see the items he reads as badly made film flashbacks. James has inherited some land that has a curse. People die who go on the land.

I can see the comedy aspect, although I don't know how much was intentional. The character of Jacob (Alex Cotant) as an elderly man was intentional. The beast living in the wilds of Solitude, North Dakota...all 95 acres of sacred land was a joke maybe? An expedition to look for a plant in the winter time? Finding a plant that immediately heals wounds, and then never using it in the plot again? Finding an arrowhead "on the ground" on top of snow? The acting was very sad, apparently some by design. I didn't find it very entertaining, except for Jacob.

Guide: F-word, sex, no nudity Winner of the 2014 Audience Award Twin Cities Film Fest...most likely because it makes fun of people in a border state.