Carter's Anal College (2015) Online

Combining elements of the hoary white-coater porn films of 45-plus years back with today's trendy anal-fixation in the porn public's bucket list, "Carter's Anal College" presents Carter Cruise as Prof. Carter Cruise, deflowering young Adult actresses' posteriors for fun and profit.

It's part of a misguided effort of the porno team of Still & Mills, working for Gamma Entertainment via its "Girls Try Anal" website, to cash in the way tushy.com and other ass-centric porn outlets have succeeded. Watching the result shows this is an exercise in futility.

The cute and friendly approach shown here is at odds with the target viewer's down & dirty interest in "the forbidden". It's a bit like separating the white supremacists and deplorables (I think old Hillary was right, though she should have kept her trap shut) from the tens of millions of other economically-strapped Americans whose mindless vote for Trump have gotten us into our upcoming mess.

The DVD back liner trumpets hyperbolically that when a young Adult lesbian actress wants to sacrifice her other virginity, Carter is top of the list of requested on-screen partners. I doubt seriously that this is true.

Wearing glasses to prove to us that she's worthy of her honorary degree in Sapphic Analytics (my invented term, unlikely to catch on like my abuses of the English language when I worked for Variety newspaper long ago), Carter relishes the chance to stick various size butt plugs and dildos into pretty backsides. Is it erotic? Is it as pointless and indulgent as Dana Vespoli's "Lesbian Anal P.O.V" series for Evil Angel which obviously inspired this copy-cat exercise? You be the judge.

Sammie Daniels is petite young slip of a girl, getting the sexual initiation from Prof. Cruise, and "learning to let yourself go", the porno mantra of not only this genre but the domination/submission stuff too. The other girls include favorites of mine, such as Serena Blair (the best of Stills & Mills' talent stable) and both Dahlia Sky and Dakota Sky, so watching this junk was not a total loss.

Just to ensure that I will watch, three of the segments are shot at my favorite porn location, the "Immoral Proposal" mansion with its oval- paned doors, spiral staircase and lovely white-on-white decor. Stills & Mills know how to hook me.

But with segment titles like "Warming Up Your Asshole" and idiotic references to BBC, not the British broadcaster and not Big Black Cock but rather Carter's term for a black dildo, I can't believe this crap is being presented seriously. As with the majority (not all - I keep watching because occasionally they do a fine job) of Stills & Mills features, it's facetious without being funny. I prefer my storytelling straight, especially if the joke is on the audience rather than with the audience.