Pipe Dreams (2007) Online

Paul Thomas has enough great films to remember him by, but "Pipe Dreams" resides near the bottom of his voluminous barrel. The Vivid vehicle for Janine was released in 2007, but bears a telltale production date (listed on the DVD to substantiate "cast was 18 or over" legalities of 12/9/04.

It suffers from an insipid David Stanley screenplay, his usual navel gazing but neither amusing nor interesting. Manuel Ferrara portrays a plumber who wants to meet attractive women in order to take them to bed, so his brother PT (how clever the casting!) sells him on the gimmick of pretending to be a movie producer so that fake auditions of beauties can be arranged. That corny premise has been done to death not only in porn movies but in poor mainstream comedies as well.

PT is plays the head of a talent agency, quite capable of providing the women, and insists that MF write a screenplay to justify the movie project ruse. So we are subjected to endless David Stanley jibes about the porn business.

Boring sex scenes revolve around BDSM, with Janine sort of portraying herself, a former porn star in comeback mode. The entire video seems to have been slapped together sloppily, with filler including MF watching porn for inspiration, so we see Janine in a XXX bondage scene with Steven St. Croix dripping candle wax, no cliche overlooked.

Some of the supporting players like Sofia Sandobar are sexy, but PT elects to stage a very hurried final reel, in which NonSex actress Kayla Paige as his assistant is suddenly placed center stage, doing some martial arts (which mostly was left on the cutting room floor) and then calming MF in a crummy set pretending to be a hospital room, his eyes bandaged after crazy Janine supposedly performed an amateur lobotomy on him with what looked like long knitting needles.

Stanley seemingly had a lobotomy to conjure up this nonsense, insulting the audience for fun and a paycheck.