The Official Rare Exports Inc. Safety Instructions 2005 (2005) Online

This is actually a sequel to the short film Rare Exports Inc., witch tells you the story of hunting and producing decent Santa Clauses of a wild Northern beast. I had seen the first part few years ago, and I just recently got to see these "Safety Instructions" and I must advice you to get your hands on both of these short movies, they are simply hilarious.

---------SPOILERS---------

The name tells pretty much everything there is to know about this film, the safety instructions to Father Christmas. Film starts with a scene with hunters familiar from the first movie, shipping a Father Christmas-box to his new happy owner. But something went wrong and the crate never reached it's destination, so seven hours later when our hunters reach the harbour where the accident has taken place, they find few brutally mutilated sailors.

After examination of the place, scene changes to a warehouse where our hunters demonstrate all types of behavior that affects Father Christmas in a negative way. These are for example of course cursing and drinking, smoking, making loud noises, etc.

This follows with the capture/execution-scene of the escaped Santa, and then in the end we have also a short graveyard-scene which explains where do Father Christmases go when they die.

Most of the scenes are pretty graphic, and I must add that this is no film for the smallest of the family.

But nevertheless, great laughs and I know I can watch this again and again. And all this in 10 minutes! 10/10

Official Rare Exports Inc. Safety Instructions 2005, The (2005)

*** (out of 4)

Fun sequel to RARE EXPORTS, INC. has seven Father Christmas' being shipped across the world only to eventually kill humans. This safety video was put out by the company so that people will learn what they can do when Father Christmas is present. The things to avoid doing include smoking, drinking and being rude. If you want to survive an encounter with Father Christmas then it's important to have some gingerbread cookies on hand. Director Helander's sequel to his now cult film is certainly a worthy followup and an all-around smart film in terms of the way it goes for the comedy. Whereas the first movie played out like an instructional video or some documentary you'd see about hunting, this one plays out like those incredibly silly safety videos everyone has been forced to watch at some point in their lives. I really loved the way the film showed silly stuff being done including a very funny sequence where you must try and play dead to avoid an attack. The silly nature of the film is perfectly brought to life with the dead-serious narration that once again really packs a wonderful punch and makes the film come to life. The entire ten-minutes are full of wonderful gags and the technical quality is extremely high.

And by this I am not talking about the quality of this 9-minute short movie. More of the contents. However, not everyone can be a winner and this description also applies to the short film. I don't think it's nearly as good as the first short film from 2 years earlier, maybe because the surprise effect is gone. 5 years after this second short, writer and director Jalmari Helander turned the idea into a full feature film. Back to this short film here, Helander basically tried to bring back all the factors that made the first one so funny (actors, style, narration), but still it comes short. Nonetheless, I think people who really loved the first can give this one a go too, or skip it and go for the long movie directly. Everybody else can give this one a pass.

In this sequel to 'Rare Exports Inc' we are shown the horrendous results of abusing Father Christmas.

As a sequel to the first short film we get a second short film, again presented in the informational "nature video" style. This time we see the life of Father Christmas after he is shipped out, and when those delivering him do not follow the simple instructions. This is rather hilarious, and far more horror-themed than the first installment.

It does raise some questions, though. As the film seems to suggest this is a "trained" Father Christmas, how can they be sent out if these infractions make them go berserk? Certainly in malls they may avoid smoking and drinking, possibly even cursing... but loud noise? These guys would not last one day.

This is a rare example of a sequel that's equal in quality to the original film it's a follow-up to. The Father Christmas from the first movie is abused by several dock workers and gets loose so he can embark on a murderous spree. It's up to three expert hunters to track Father Christmas down and kill him. Director/co-writer Jalmari Helander once again adroitly mines a fresh, inventive, and wickedly funny line in deliciously dark and twisted pitch-black humor (the safety tips on not making any loud noises, smoking, or drinking around a Father Christmas are genuinely hilarious in an admittedly twisted sort of way). Otso Tarkela gives a convincingly feral performance as the bloodthirsty and dangerous Father Christmas. Tommi Korpela, Jorma Tommila, and Tazu Ovaska are likewise credible as the ace hunters forced to take Father Christmas out like a wild rabid beast. Jonathan Hutchings' wonderfully deep and solemn gravel-voiced narration further enhances the deadpan comic tone. Moreover, there's also a nice smattering of grisly gore and an extremely eerie conclusion set in a remote woodland graveyard for deceased Father Christmases. Jean Noel Mastonen's polished cinematography gives the picture an exquisitely glossy and wintry look. The melodic and majestic orchestral score is also on the money fine and effective. Well worth seeing.

A few years before "The Official Rare Exports Inc. Safety Instructions" debuted, Jalmari Helander made a film called "Rare Exports Inc.". This original film wasn't really intended as anything more than a cute film to be shown to a small group of folks, but fortunately it got out and was a huge hit on the internet. Now, in this second film we have a sequel. And, if you like the sequel, then I have good news for you--in 2010 the two films led to a full-length horror movie which is sick, twisted and a lot of fun.

Before watching this film, I do recommend you see the first short before this sequel. It would make the viewing experience much more enjoyable.

This films is like an industrial training film. It gives lots of warnings about how to deal with a wild Father Christmas. It's all very sick....but also incredibly well made. It has a wonderful cinematic quality that makes you marvel. Great music, great special effects and a strange, sick sense of humor make this well worth your time. BUT, I also should point out these are NOT films for kids or those easily offended. In fact, it helps if you are the sort who likes to be offended!! Not as good as the first film and MUCH darker--but also worth seeing.

This is the sequel to Jalmari Helander's RARE EXPORTS INC . Since the original's success centres around a shock revelation as to who the hunters are stalking in the cold wastes of Lapland it's obvious that all the cards have been played so instead of trying out another plot twist the makers have followed this up with biting satire . The short is made in a similar way to a training film as to how to transport a captive Father Christmas safely

Even if you're not taken too much to the script you should be impressed by the technical aspects of THE OFFICIAL RARE EXPORTS INC SAFETY INSTRCUTIONS . The cinematography by Jean Noel Mustonen is very noticeable in a good way and I've rarely seen a well shot short film . The music is uncredited by Iwas instantly reminded of Howard Shore's superb score for LORD OF THE RINGS

I've been clicking on the names of many of the people responsible in the production of this short and I'm disappointed Hollywood mainstream producers haven't been knocking on their door because this is certainly a very well made short film from all concerned

Apparently With All The New Father Christmases Around People Need To Be Taught How To Behave Around One, This Is Fantastic At Being One Of The Dumbest Movies Anyone Is Likely To See, Its Nice To See A Country Outside The United States & Britan That Makes Dumb Movies.

The Funniest Rule Is "Don't Drink Or Curse", I Had To Pause The Film To Actually Laugh Because I Had A Fear That I Wouldn't See The Rest Especially The Narrator Saying " If You Do This In Front Of A Father Christmas Death Is Certain." (I Suppose I Will Never See Santa The Same Way Again.) This Is Actually My Favourite Short Film This Is Along Side 9, Punisher First Round, Rare Exports 1, Human(Off Halo Legends), Detective Story (Off Animatrix) & Max Payne: Hero (To Name What I Call "The Best").

Overall I Highly Recommend This.

"You Better Not Shout, You Better Not Cry, You Better Not Pound I'm Telling You Why, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town."