Love Making U.S.A. (1971) Online

Stray footage, new footage and throwaway footage are mixed in the pot for this rather uninteresting porn film, made during the heyday of salacious documentaries. Just think what fun Ken Burns would have had if he had just been born a decade or so earlier (although based on his haircut he probably would have been named Pete Barbutti and become a Vegas comic instead).

The host of this farrago lectures us on "What is love?" and we get to see a John Holmes loop, the famous early stag "A Free Ride" (from the '20s), and even "Bolero" playing in one of its many pre- Blake Edwards porn incarnations.

The making of a porn film is observed, as is lesbian lovemaking and an orgy, during which a clapper-board helpfully reads 8-4-70. Tons of stock footage is recycled and we're treated to white-coater discussions of the female orgasm and use of a vibrator.

Another loop has a census taker arriving and servicing a girl. Final insult has the smarmy narrator informing us that semen packs 90 calories per ejaculation. Well, he should know.