Anything Goes (2005) Online

England inspired much of the "Reality TV" that clutters our video screens nowadays, and British Pornographers jumped in with this lamentable spoof of TV game shows. It's fairly hard to sit through.

A project by the team of local superstar Cathy Barry and her husband Phil, the feature suffers from tons of repetition. The segments of different contestants answering quiz questions and either winning prizes or suffering sexual forfeits is regimented and done over and over with no variation. But why the same inane questions are asked over and over again reflects a complete absence of any creativity.

Some sexual punishments are desirable, such as humping with Cathy Barry herself or familiar porn star Pascal White. Mostly it's spanking, stripping, getting some dildo action and the like. True booby prize is having sex with "Britain's oldest porn star" Chuck Loads, a fate worse than death that an unlucky femme rejects out of hand.

Monty Ferrory is the lousy quiz-master who merely adds to the boredom and pretty eye candy of Laura Michaels (like Cathy, a familiar porn actress) and a girl named Anna is merely okay. Whether the contestants are journey-woman porn stars or amateurs is irrelevant.

Overall it reflects how lame the British porn scene was in the first few years of this millennium, a fact reinforced as I've watched recently the output from that era from labels like Pumpkin, Relish and Union Jaxxx - all bottom of the barrel purveyors.