Spion van Oranje (2009) Online

In line of the bad reviews this movie got beforehand, I can only under scribe the opinion of the reviewers. This movie is so bad, it's amazing they dare to put it in cinema's at all. There is not a single joke I could laugh at, and normally I laugh easily. The special effects are clumsy and feels fake and the story... well, that's not even worth thinking about. So, yes, it's a great movie... if you're 5 years old.

Living in Delft myself, I was also curious about the scene on the market-square and it's strange to see such a familiar place in a movie. But the scene after that, in the tomb of the Royal Family is so tasteless, it's actually disgusting. Not to mention other disgusting moments which sometimes almost made me wanna throw up.

No funny moment at all then? Well, every line of Najib Amhali is worth a smile (a little one) and that's about it.

I'm glad I didn't have to pay to get in, but if you have to: don't waste your time and money. Don't even rent it on DVD.

A movie which has a lot of Dutch celebrities in the cast, but has no humor or plot. It's one of those movies which seem to be made more for the actors than for the viewer. Like they're all saying: 'Look, I'm in the movies, how cool!'

Najib Amhali should stick to making comedy on stage, not play a unsympathetic gun-wielding macho cop who takes his gun out every chance he gets and then expects to be considered funny.

Just as I thought movie making was getting a bit better in Holland, this proves the opposite. Better pretend this was never made. Comedy is a difficult thing to make.

When young director Tim Oliehoek made his hit-movie "Vet hard" in 2005, people were expecting lots of great things by him in the future. And while "Vet hard" was most definitely not a great movie in my opinion, I could absolutely see Oliehoek's potential as a director, of some highly entertaining and action filled movies. But now 6 years later Tim Oliehoek still hasn't matched up to the success of his breakthrough movie. As a matter of fact, all of his other movies have been quite horrible to watch, as if the success of "Vet Hard" had gone to Oliehoek's head, which made he think he could do- and could get away with just anything.

But you can't get away with a bad script. Seriously, is there anything that makes sense in this movie? Sure, it's a comedy and comedies don't always necessarily have to make sense of course but this is just a bit too much to take. I literally still have no idea why a German scientist, doctor, millionaire, or whatever he is (sorry, I just don't know because the movie never explains) blows up landmarks in the Netherlands. And I also still have no idea why fashion-designer François van Vliet is the only one that can stop him. Sure, he is the (twin?) brother of the terrorist but how exactly does that make him qualified to stop him? And why would the Dutch government put only two incapable police officers on the case, when there is a terrorist who threatens to destroy the whole country? Things like this in its story work out far too distracting. I'm of course willing to cut comedies some slack when it comes down to its writing and story but this movie is just basically being offensive toward its viewers, like they are a bunch of idiots, who would take just about anything that got thrown at them.

And talking about offensive; I just thought the movie its premise was a pretty offensive one to start with already. Making fun or terrorism could work (for example "Team America: World Police" of course did a great job at this) but only when it's done in a clever and/or truly fun way. This movie obviously does neither. It's never being clever and terribly predictable instead and it's not being much fun either.

The comedy and humor of the movie is just overall lame. I'm really not sure what comedy-style the film-makers were aiming for but it seems to me that they wanted to go for a more Austin Powers type of comedy approach. But let me tell you, if the movie does one thing right, it is that it makes you really appreciate the Austin Powers movies its comedy, its writing, its acting, its characters and overall how it got made. You could say what you want but the Austin Powers movies still did everything right that this movie does oh so painfully wrong.

The movie is involving some great actors and comedians so I just can't understand how they ever agreed on doing the stuff they had to do in this movie. Surely, they would had realized it was all being something lame and not so very clever or funny when they were doing their scenes, or had to say their lines. And why did they agree to be in this movie in the first place? Had any of them really read the script, or were they just excited enough to be part of a 'big' Dutch movie, directed by a promising director? This surely seemed to be the case but really, one of them should had stepped up to the director and should had told him enough was enough and they should had gone back the drawing-board to come up with some truly good and fun stuff.

But it's simply true that Tim Oliehoek is more interested in the technical aspects of directing. In that regard you could say he's the Dutch Michael Bay. He spends more time on preparing and shooting an action sequences than on its script or characters. And the action has always been the one main thing that made Tim Oliehoek stand out from the rest. His action definitely has a Hollywood-vibe to it but he should learn to focus on more things as well. Who knows, he's still young, so he might learn someday, though it seems somewhat doubtful that people are still willing to give Oliehoek a change with a big movie again, since his last couple of movies had flopped big time, this one included.

Perhaps it's not fair to put most blame on Oliehoek, since it's actually the script by Tijs van Marle that makes the movie such a weak and lame one. But on the other hand, great directors have often managed to turn weak scripts into great and fun movies in the past, so perhaps Tim Oliehoek just isn't all that great as we all thought he was.

If it wasn't obvious yet; this movie really isn't worth your time and investment.

3/10

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