Splatter University (1984) Online

This was the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. It was so bad, in fact, that it almost was the end of me. I was just barely able to get out of bed the next day. My credit card bills are climbing, my car payment is too high, I have a mortgage that's slowly strangling me, and I now must live with the knowledge that I can never un-see 'Splatter University.' It was almost too much to take. Ultimately, I got out of bed to feed my fish--and I couldn't let anything happen to myself while they were dependent on me to live. God only knows where I'd be right now if I didn't have a fish tank.

This movie takes place over a span of a couple weeks. Yet in every scene, all the characters are wearing the same clothes. If I had to listen to that idiot with the sleeveless blue t-shirt on howl like a wolf one more time, I was going to put my head through the tv.

When I rented it, I was hoping for a college slasher romp, fraught with scantily clad college-aged honeys. None of that here. How about great make-up fx and gallons of blood? Try again. A creepy killer that was good for at least ONE scare? Nope.

I never in a million years would think that a movie with a running time of 79 MINUTES could feel so long. But now that I know, there's no going back. You see, I've graduated from Splatter University, and it weighs on my conscience like a student loan with payments made directly to hell.

Really, really bad slasher movie. A psychotic person escapes from an asylum. Three years later he kills a sociology professor, end of scene. One semester yesterday later (hey, that's what the title card said) a new sociology professor is at the school. She makes friends with another female sociology professor who works there, and starts dating another professor. The students are all bored, as are we.

There are a number of title cards indicating how much time has passed. Scenes are pretty short, and cut to different characters somewhere else, making for little progression of any kind. A lot of scenes involve characters walking and talking, or sitting and talking, and serve little purpose. Despite the passage of time, many of the characters are always wearing the same clothing. Sometimes the unclear passage of time means when we see a body for the second time, we ask ourselves: how long has that body been there? And also, at least one of the dead people don't seem to have been missed by others.

The killer manages to kill one person by stabbing her in the breast, another by stabbing him in the crotch, and another by slicing her forehead. Is his knife poisoned or something?

The video box cover has a cheerleader: there aren't any in the movie. The rear cover has a photo of someone in a graduation cap and gown menacing a group of women in a dorm room. The central redhead in the photo is in the movie, but nobody ever wears such an outfit, and there is no such scene. The killer is strictly one-on-one.

With its outrageous students (one of whom howls like a wolf at anything with a pulse), '80s slasher Splatter University can be remarkably silly at times, but isn't amusing enough to qualify as a parody or black comedy; it's also a fairly bloody flick, but nowhere near scary enough to pass as a proper slasher. Exactly who would find the film satisfying is anyone's guess.

Forbes Riley plays recently qualified teacher Julie Parker, whose new job at St. Trinian's school gets off to a bad start when one of her students is murdered. After further students and members of staff turn up dead, Julie decides to quit, but will the killer let her leave? Not on your nelly! In it's one moment of originality, the film does the unthinkable and actually kills off the final girl, which almost makes up for the sheer predictability of the psycho's identity. If you fail to guess who is responsible, you clearly haven't seen enough horror films.

It's an absolute stinker, but I'll be kind and give Splatter University a rather generous 3/10 for the bloody knifings, the slit throat, the disembowelled corpse, Julie's surprisingly nasty death, and that Ginger girl's amazingly bad hairstyle.

Colleges, High Schools, Fraternities and Sororities have been the most popular stalking grounds for maniacal madmen since the slasher cycle first became a popular cinema culture throughout the late seventies. Even backwoods cabins and campsites have rode shotgun to the amount of massacres that have taken place on campuses since Halloween categorised the genre as a cult horror category. From early entries like To all a Good Night right up until the big budgeted schlock of titles like Urban Legend or Schools Out, there's usually always been a campus slasher lurking somewhere in the pipeline. Despite being picked up by Troma - the titans of B movie badness – Splatter University was heavily panned upon release and never really found an audience. Even notorious hack and slash websites like HYSTERIA-LIVES have written off Richard Haines' splatter yarn as one of the worst of the early eighties boom. I always approach criticised movies optimistically because there's often the chance than a few bad reviews can be unfairly contagious like a dose of the flu, which crowds the judgement of certain authors.

It begins in traditional fashion at the place where any maniac worth his salts emerges. Yep you guessed it – an insane asylum! It seems that one of the inmates has decided that he's unhappy with the level of service at the institution and therefore he's looking to take his business elsewhere. The unseen nut-job makes his break after stabbing an unfortunate orderly where the sun certainly doesn't shine. He obviously favours the dress sense of the murdered worker, so he takes the liberty of borrowing his uniform, blood stained trousers and all!

Three years later, we transfer to St Trinians College, an educational establishment that is controlled by catholic priests. A teacher is busy after hours marking her students work when all of a sudden there's a knock at the door. Before she has a chance to find out what the unseen visitor wants, he stabs her in the chest with a kitchen knife and she falls to the floor in a bloody heap. This of course means that there's a vacancy at the university and so we're introduced to Julie Parker (Francine Forbes), the lovable replacement for the recently departed lecturer. It seems that her arrival has inadvertently given the resident maniac all the motivation that he needs to go on a no holds barred slaughter-thon. Before long students and teachers alike are dropping like flies to the camera shy menace as he stalks the corridors and local areas armed with an exceptionally large blade. Suspicious suspects abound, but can professor Parker solve the mystery of the campus murderer before she becomes just another statistic?

I'm not precisely sure how many versions of this movie are available. The UK altered video was released under the alias of Campus Killings, but the US copy that I own states that it's the complete unedited edition, which could mean that there is a censored print floating about somewhere? I'd be fairly surprised if that was the case as Splatter University certainly isn't as gore-delicious as the hyperbole packaging would lead you to believe. One or two litres of corn syrup certainly don't stand up to gore hound's scrutiny when compared to the likes of Blood Rage or Pieces, so in this instance the movie is somewhat over hyped. One thing that many critics have failed to mention is the charming lead performance from Francine Forbes, who ends up carrying the entire picture on her shoulders throughout the 79-minute running time. Despite amateurish direction from Richard Haines she still unveils some magnificent potential that should have lead to the chance of another stab at serious acting under a more accomplished helmer. Unfortunately that possibility never came, and bottom of the barrel bombs like Death Ring and Splitz certainly didn't help to nurture a talent that could have improved dramatically under the right scholarship.

The rest of the cast members were par for the course of movie obscurity, especially the wooden plank teenagers who for some strange reason acted like they were auditioning for a remake of Grease or The Wanderers. The bog standard point and shoot direction couldn't have helped to build much confidence in the project and the fact that the few signs of potential were undermined by the clumsy handling of the script writer left the feature effectively unredeemable. Perhaps the only claim of originality to be found in Haines' slasher is the brave attempt for the contrasting conclusion. Let's just say that it's not a final that I was expecting to witness in a movie that was so typical of the cycle.

At one point in the runtime, one of the teens says, "Man that Parker bores me to tears…" Well the same can be said for Splatter University, which never lifts the pace above slow motion. With that said though, Francine Forbes made for a delectable scream queen and undoubtedly one that I would have paid to watch again in a similar role. So that pretty much sums up this un-troma-tising ride. Slow paced, shoddy but still strangely alluring; you'd have to be especially forgiving to give it a chance…

The Plot = A Psycho escapes from a mental institution by killing off a male orderly and wearing his clothes, three years later the female students and teachers of St Trinians fall victim to a knife wielding psychopath. The new teacher on campus Juile Parker (Franchine Forbes) gets worried and even starts to suspect her new boyfriend Mark who happen to have a relationship with the former teacher that died. After the deaths of her friends, the young teacher confronts the killer in the hallways of the college with shocking results.

I've heard a lot of bad things about this film before watching it like people saying it's the worst slasher ever, and to be honest it's not as bad as they say sure there are a lot better college slashers such as (House On Sorority Row) but I've seen a lot worse movies than this as well such as (Blood Tracks and Don't Go Into The Woods Alone).

Splatter University is an entertaining slasher film for all the wrong reasons. Director Robert Haines is so inept that he allows numerous mistakes and gaffs into the film. A few mistakes include bad post production dubbing, dead bodies that move, and a doctor with bloodstains on his coat before he's attacked by the killer. The mistakes are often more entertaining than the actual film.

There is a lot of amusing things about this movie such as the terrible acting for one, the part when the priest throws away porn magazines when one of the teachers is on her way to see him, the college students who are all but ugly, the teacher on the toilet with the crude sound effects and writing on the walls before she gets killed, the pervy priest who likes to sleep with the female teachers and gets aroused by one of the female students. I mean wow this movie doesn't exactly portray priests in a very kind manner often portraying them as perverts and the students who are just portrayed as dope smoking, sexually active morons with no brains. Unfortunately, they forgot to add depth to their characters and suspense. Gore consists of knife penetrations and plenty of squirting blood. Even though the camera zooms in on girls wearing tight jeans and shirts, there is no nudity except for a cover of Look magazine. When you see the female students, you'll be glad they kept their clothes on. The soundtrack is one annoying song that plays throughout the movie.

Francine Forbes is the only real actor in the cast. She brings a charming innocence to this film. The rest of the cast must be friends or relatives of the filmmakers. They obviously weren't hired on talent or good looks. The killer's identity is a bit of a surprise, but the actor looks too silly to be menacing.

All in all Splatter University is so badly made it's actually entertaining, zero tension and no suspense whatsoever but in fairness it's not the worst slasher or by far means one of the best.

If you merely look at the cover of this movie, it's cool. DON'T. The movie itself put me to sleep. It was slow paced, had minimal violence and a poor use of suspense. The acting was bottom feeder material and the plot, while it would've been cool for a different movie, was poorly shown here. They even kill the only likeable character in the whole film! I give it a 2 out of 10 because the only thing that was good was the plot twist at the end. Other than that, you might want to save yourself from this movie trash.

This movie is great. If you enjoy watching B-class movies, that is. This is a classic college 80's slasher movie, in which one song is played throughout the entire soundtrack. A horrible film, but worth renting to make fun of, or just to watch old men pop out of closets with knives. Kinda funny, if you ask me.

Splatter University is just another attempt to cash in on the 80's slasher hysteria.

The acting was bad but the script definitely had potential. There were some pretty creative deaths but they were all ruined by the horribly slow pace and unneeded dialogue. For some reason the director felt like following around a bunch of crumby actors who the audience expected were there just to die and then suddenly stopped incorporating them into the film? Why was that? Were they just trying to throw us off or waste our time?

I can't say "Splatter University" was complete trash, I can say that the script and twists could have worked with a better director, bigger budget, and more experienced production team.

Go ahead and see this movie, but don't expect anything better than "okay" or worse...

How come I've never seen or even heard about this junk-movie before? It's right up my alley with bloody teenkill, laughable plotting and an irresistible 80's cheese-atmosphere hanging around it. For some reason nobody is really interested in, the staff and students of an elite Catholic university are butchered by an unknown psychopath. Freshly recruited teacher Julie Parker becomes involved when all the people she has contact with either turn up dead or behave strangely. This movie is hilariously bad! There's absolutely no logic or coherence and every character is equally meaningless to the others. For example, there's a girl killed and her body dumped in a container. Then, and for no reason, the story suddenly moves forward three weeks yet the murdered girl is never mentioned or even missed. Not even by her boyfriend! The acting is pitiful and there isn't even a bit of nudity to enjoy. The revelation of the killer is quite funny because the makers really seemed convinced that it was an original twist... It's not, guys! "Splatter University" is easily one of the worst horror-turkeys ever.

It's a poor film, but I must give it to the lead actress in this one....Francine Forbes. She appeared to be acting the least and I personally thought she was kind of cute. Too bad she only appears in one other film in the database. Besides that, the film is filled with laughable gore and fakey death scenes. People get stabbed and they GUSH like 2 gallons of blood! But, if you like to watch poor horror films, I recommend this one highly.

"What's your favorite scary movie hmmmm? Graduation Day? Final Exam? THe Dorm That Dripped Blood? The House On Sorority Row? Or is it SPLATTER UNIVERSITY? Am I Close?" says Randy in SCREAM 2 as he tries to keep the killer on the phone while walking the college campus.

"Close Enough".

When I heard of this movie I wanted to see it. I bought it after all of the bad reviews and negetive comments and still I like the movie well enough.

If I had to compare it with something I would say Scream 2 meets the budget of Halloween meets the acting of Saved By the Bell.

The music is somewhat like the beginning of Child's Play 3 and the deaths scenes are decent.

With a body count of 6 and a surprise twist ending this movie is good.

6/10.

this movie probably had a $750 budget, and still managed to surpass Titanic. i rented this the day i crashed my mom's car, and it was the only thing that cheered me up beyond belief! it has to be tied with 'The Assult of the Killer Bimbos'. Things to look for are: 1. The drive in blow job chinese girl scene 2. The bleach blonde in the sassoon shirt who never changes 3. The Flinstone-like screech out driving 4. The clashing ensemble worn by the redhead right before she gets killed (don't worry, i'm not ruining any surprises, for it's soooo predictable) 5. The guy who finds it necessary to howl. 6. The mental patient who plays a convincing job of being insane by poking out the eyes of a maniquen. 7. The hour long chase at the end involving the teacher and the priest. 8. the womman writing grafitti on the bathroom wall. 9. last, but not least, the wonderful special effects--especially the stab in the boob that made a... heaven help me... popping noise.

enjoy!

SPLATTER UNIVERSITY is a laughably inept slasher film of the early 1980s, more low rent than even a companion film like GRADUATION DAY. The story involves an unknown maniac escaping from an asylum and going undercover at a high school, where they proceed to slaughter their way through the cast of unknowns. This is very much bottom of the barrel material, one of those films that's nigh on impossible to take seriously; the acting is goofy and the script completely dead-headed. As for that title, well, there are some gory kills, but they tend to be repetitive and lack the creativity that went into a contemporary slasher like HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

This is my review for the film Splatter University which will contain several spoilers throughout.

The film begins with a mental patient who murders a fellow patient and escapes the institution he is living in. Several years later the female students and teachers at St Trinian's college suffer at the wrath of a lunatic who starts to murder them. It is imperative that the killer is caught and brought to justice. A new teacher at the college named Julie sets out to test the theory of the disappearances and there are lots of on screen and bloody killings that are occurring within the college and is determined to find out the identity of the killer.

There are things that are entertaining about the movie from the characters and their acting to when events continue to escalate to a climatic and fairly unexpected conclusion.

The main character Julie was the only likable one from me personally who i was rooting for throughout the movie and you will have to wait and see if she achieves what she intends to or if she is biting off more than she can chew.

I would rate this film 5 out of 10.

Forbes Riley is a fresh-out-of-college teacher who lands her first job at a Catholic school having earned an infamy after the professor prior to her arrival died when stabbed in brutal fashion, bleeding all over her classroom. This comes after a lunatic literally escapes from the asylum, taking the uniform of a nurse he stabs to death in a bathroom stall (something he likes to do). When stab-murders start up at the college to students and faculty alike, Riley considers a male professor she is romantically interested in to be the possible suspect responsible.

Rick Randig is Mark, Riley's love interest, and soon someone she considers dangerous. Dick Biel is a rather odd, emotionally-inert, wheel-chair dependent priest and head of the school. The cast of students is a rather uninteresting, unlikable bunch of male pigs and female whiners. Riley's students seem totally bored and rudely devoid of interest in anything she says or does in class!

Lots of knives going in torsos, and blood spilling all over the place. Plenty of bloody bodies discovered, primarily by Riley. The psycho- killings are routinely directed with little energy or pizazz whatsoever. The keyboard score does little to be a pick-me-up for the audience in chase sequences. The bleak conclusion involving Riley was a surprise, I must admit, and the twist was unique if a bit obvious (why wouldn't the killer be someone victims wouldn't expect "standing" in front of them?). Mark just slaps you in the face as a red herring. The flat photographic work and immense lack of anyone worth a cent to care about doesn't help matters.

Student Bodies made fun of films just like this one. Still, with a name like Splatter University, slasher fans will want to checkmark their watch list so this will more than likely make its way on the screen of devotees.

Nut case is murdering college students, can new teacher stop the madness?!

Believe me, you won't care.

With a title like Splatter University, one would immediately gather that this movie just isn't high art. But worse than that Splatter University doesn't even qualify for amusing garbage. Splatter U is so poorly made - the story is mindless, the characters are throw-aways, and the whole movie lacks any essence of imagination. Needless to say there is no suspense or atmosphere or scares. This drivel isn't even brave enough to throw in any nudity (for the cheapest thrill of all). So all around this endlessly flawed slasher offers nothing in the way of entertainment (not even cheap laughs) and just becomes a complete bore. Bottom of the barrel folks - even die hard slasher fans will want to think twice before viewing, let alone paying money for this flick.

BOMB out of ****

I knew this was going to be a good one (and by that, I mean a worthless piece of trash) when the film began with not one, but TWO, flashback sequences of meaningless characters being murdered. Indeed, the entirety of SPLATTER UNIVERSITY is a strangely paced, horribly edited and utterly stupid slab of slasher garbage that should be featured in your next bad movie night.

Directed by Richard W. Haines, most famous for his co-directing post on CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH (and his demotion to second-unit director of the film after only a week), SPLATTER UNIVERSITY tells the tale of random college students who are introduced and immediately murdered. Meanwhile, a new teacher tries to solve the mystery of who's spilling all this university blood. The VHS cover's cheerleader mysteriously never shows up to class.

The film features many wacky college-kid antics (which are damn near impossible to hear because of sound issues), murders (which are almost all uninspired stabbings), and a mystery that is face-palmingly obvious from very early on. Still, the film never takes itself that seriously and there are quite a few intentional and unintentional laughs to be had. As long as you find rampant misogyny and bloody killings funny (and who doesn't!).

It's only 78 minutes long, and I can safely say I enjoyed most of them. I'm a little surprised at the largely negative reviews here which don't mention how dang fun the whole thing is. Great to pair with FINAL EXAM or THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD for a trashy double feature of dead collegians.

Just another traditional slasher. Well that's what you say about the Troma released "Splatter University". It's textbook and low-budget as you can get with a eye-catching film title. But it's reputation of being one of worst its sub-genre had to offer seems to scream loudly. It had me thinking of the 1981 slasher "Final Exam", but that film is exemplary compared to this outing. Sure "Splatter University" is rancid, uninspired with lazy direction, tacky writing and wooden acting, but I have a soft spot for campus horror and I kind of enjoyed that it didn't take itself all that seriously, as it felt like they're playing up to the camera. You could say the stalk and slash elements at times took a back-step to college hi-jinks, which I found a little more amusing than the slasher side of the story. There it would get slow and sluggish with confused editing. I didn't find it all that effective in presenting the red herrings and the revelation isn't anything surprising, but the finale had one surprise up its sleeve I didn't see coming and quite a daring one too. The story is fairly messy, as what begins as a psychopathic killer escaping from an asylum then moves on a couple years later when a university teacher is brutally murdered to only move on even further where a couple months later a newly appointed teacher arrives on the campus where suddenly the lady students are being targeted by a killer. So many random occurrences seem to make its way into the unfocused story; some don't even have any relevance than to add trivial exchanges for humour. Sometimes the darkest of humour. Although there's no hiding how spiteful and deranged the violence can be, however they're rather unimaginative in the usual slashing and stabbing. Quite bit of red paint gets chucked about and the electronic soundtrack gets a good workout. Characters come and go with no one really standing out (most of them are obnoxious or slackers), other than Forbes Riley as the leading lady and Dick Biel. Senseless, hackneyed and cheesy, but what do you expect? Nudity, if so... look elsewhere.

"Gross! There's a fingernail in my pie".

Nasty knife violence isn't enough to save this slasher mess. If you are a die hard slasher fan like me, you can't help but be seduced by a title like "Splatter University". Oh but what a total mess this is. Years ago I watched it with low, very low expectations but I didn't expect to be THAT bad.

The plot is very well known and common for a slasher flick but a little more coherence and less useless conversations could've helped for the movie's pace. The editing is what ruins this movie completely because there's absolutely no sense in some important scenes. And the ending is a tear! Plot twists are not always effective people.

The positive thing about this crapfest is the cheesy but nasty gore. Some might find this movie to be misogynistic but I guess most of the death scenes were justified, if you try to be objective about the ending.

Watch "Splatter University" if you are hungry for slasher flicks. I believe I watched the cut version on late USA Network programming many years ago.

At least this movie has consistency. Bad acting, bad script, bad directing, bad everything. What a let down this movie was, especially when judging the cover of a high school girl's bloody fingerprints. This really bad horror movie reminded of that much better film, Fatal Pulse. This is like Amateur hour, sadly with the addition of a twenty minutes. This looney escapes from a mental hospital, where we get to view some of the other patients, one who likes to stab at a doll's head, with his finger. The looney is hiding out at the school, where a series of students end up visiting the morgue. So we've got a slasher by the numbers film, but this one is exceptionally bad. A bearded student who talks with a sarcastic voice, looks very much like someone I know. At least this movie's funny. Nothing else. Bad. Really really bad.

Does this film suck!! Horrible acting, horrible script, horrible effects, horrible horrible horrible!! Nothing redeeming here for even the most die-hard of horror fans! A crazy killer stalks students at a college. People are showing up dead in the hallways, but still, class carries on as normal??? After about the 4th body, I would think that they could allow the students a few days break! LOL. This about as bad as it gets folks. This film should be shown as a means of torture to criminals. You have been warned!

I will watch just about any horror movie from the 70s or 80s. They don't make em like they used to. In my humble opinion the 80s was the best time period for horror movies because even the BAD ones were pretty "watchable" and on some level "enjoyable". If you like so-bad-its-good movies and black comedies then I can recommend SPLATTER UNIVERSITY.I watched it last night (dead sober) and laughed my ass off. As a Horror movie? Not so hot. As a COMEDY? Very fun! Plot: An escaped mental patient has taken up at a college and is offing the wanton women on campus. Okay, so its not an original horror concept. Not trying to reinvent the wheel here! If it ain't broken, don't fix it. The thing that separates this movie from its ilk is that pretty much ALL the characters but one or two are scum and you'll probably wanna see them die. In fact, you'll be sad most of the OVERLY obnoxious characters get to live! Some of the things that make this movie funny (for me , at least) are * Its so cheesy: including cheesy music, and cheesy fashion and wayyy cheesy Bad 80s Hair(check out the redheaded metal chick with the Bad 80s Perm that makes her look like she has three hairdos on one head) * Bawdy horny teens who drink beer with the six pack ring still attached to it dangling other full cans of beer . They also talk about wanting to bang other members of the opposite sex RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS! One guy howls like a wolf and thrusts his hips at just about every girl in the school -he even starts joking around with the GUYS when the girls aren't around! * The cartoon FLINTSTONES sound effect that cars make when they pull out in a hurry * The two chicks who walk around the campus (always in the same clothes) who are dead ringers for Cherie Currie and Joan Jett from THE RUNWAYS (REALLY. They deserve their own spin-off movie!) * Characters from a tight group of friends DYING and nobody, not even their friends or boyfriends, noticing! * The scene involving a dead body, a dumpster and a six pack of ginger ale.

* Red Herring Killers aplenty * Priests who are getting more action then all the students! * Someone dies on the crapper. After writing bathroom graffiti. WHILE TAKING A DUMP.

* A quirky landlady who tells you about the people who were murdered in your apartment five minutes after you move in. She also wonders WHY you wanna move when half the people at the university you work at have been iced.

* The reactions people make when they find dead bodies * A disco-licious dance party scene with close ups of girls jean-covered butts and sweater-covered tops (Sorry, Fellas, if you want T & A you better rent PIECES) * A GREAT Crotch Kicking scene (towards the end)* The last person you expect to die ...DIES! * A funny closing scene and a hilarious final line.

So what are you waiting for?! Get a case of beer and some rowdy friends and rent this puppy tonight! Guy 1: My girlfriend wont go to that Drive-In ( someone got murdered in last night) anymore.

Guy 2 : Are you gonna find another Drive-In? Guy 1: No. Another GIRLFRIEND. I like the movies they play!

"Splatter University" is a watchable if not that spectacular entry in the genre.

**SPOILERS**

Arriving at a new campus, Julie Parker, (Forbes Riley) is told by Father Perkins, (Richard W. Haines) that the position is only available due to the previous occupant having died. Taking over the class, she meets up with students Mark Hammond, (Ric Randig) Cathy Hunter, (Kathy LaCommare) Cynthia, (Laura Gold) Tom Scavelli, (Ken Gerson) Wolf, (Sal Lumetta) Margaret, (Noel Stilphen) John, (John Elias Michalakis) and Tony, (George Seminara) who immediately try to make her life miserable because of her new position. When school gets out and they try to have a series of parties around campus, a maniacal killer begins to stalk around them, and after conducting some investigations into the murders, realize that the killer is a recently escaped mental patient from a nearby asylum is responsible, and together they try to stop his deadly rampage across the campus and student body.

The Good News: This one here doesn't have a whole lot of positives, but there is some. One of the big points is that there's a lot of blood and gore, and even though it's all really cheap-looking and quite obviously fake, the fake that there's some brutal deaths is something to be admired. There's a lot of stabbing in here, with large amounts of blood forming around the wound which is always great. One is memorable being stabbed down in the privates on a close-up and a second one where the victim is stabbed and then found to be completely disemboweled in the restroom. It's one of the main values to be found in the film, and is certainly a big deal in the film. The drive-in sequence that occurs through the film is quite fun and surprising, with a lot of great parts to it that really make it somewhat entertaining. The other part that the film gets right is the segments at the end dealing with the stalker going after the remaining students in the school, leading to a strong series of stalking scenes that are quite fun. It's a big fact towards making this one somewhat entertaining, and is what gives the film most of it's good points.

The Bad News: This one here doesn't have a whole lot of flaws, but there are a couple in here that do spring up. One of the main ones is that the beginning doesn't have a whole lot of good parts to keep it's interest going. This takes way too much time getting to the good parts of the film, mainly it's second half. The beginning mystery parts are way too drawn out, making them seem way dull than they really should be. There's also too much time spent on the group running wild after the class, and they're adventures aren't that great or interesting. It really makes the film's beginning feel really dull. Another big part of that is the incessantly long party scene, which here is one of the worst scenes of the film. It's long, dull and terribly uninteresting, offering up only a means to pad the film out and not really doing much of anything, as it's nearly impossible to hear anything in there due to the noise, what's there is of no consequence to the plot and there's a lot of time with nothing that happens in the scene. The other part that doesn't work is the series of plot inconsistencies that are hard to get over. The missing girl, who does so at the very beginning of the film, goes unnoticed for the majority of the film and no attempt is made to make it seem like there's anything done about it. There's also the failure to believe that the new teacher never heard of the previous murder, which is a little unlikely. Otherwise, this one here isn't all that great.

The Final Verdict: Not that spectacular but still has enough good parts to it to make it watchable for the style, this one is really only there for the hardcore slasher fans. Check it out if a fan of those films, a shot-on-video fan or can tolerate cheesy films, but if that isn't appealing, it won't be a total loss to miss it.

Rated R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language

Back in the days before the Toxic Avenger, the low-camp kings at Troma Films tried to take the high (OK, somewhat-less-low) road of producing straight slasher pics. I'd like to think that viewing the results here is what convinced them to give up all pretension and go for self-conscious parody.

Splatter University is another film for the masochists in the audience. As it meanders about through two separate casts and innumerable pointless subplots, it actually becomes painful to watch. Let's see if I can summarize.

After learning that a dangerous psychopath has escaped from a local hospital, the action moves to a Catholic university (I don't recall the name, but in honor of the title, let's call it St. Splatter). The students are listless and sullen, and argue pettily with each other, slackers ahead of their time. Meanwhile, the new professor, Julie Parker, proves utterly incompetent at her job. The kids deal with relationships, infidelity, unwanted pregnancies, lecherous priests, and how to avoid doing any work in class; Julie deals with a creepy boyfriend, the inflexible administration at St. Splatter, counseling unwed mothers, and the blank, expressionless looks of her students. None of it means a darn thing or gets resolved in any meaningful way. Oh, and every once in a while, a POV shot comes along and stabs one of the girls to death, but don't hold your breath waiting for it. There's a Red Herring Killer, and then a sadly anticlimactic confrontation with the Real Killer, then it's back to the asylum and roll credits.

The slow pace and numerous inane subplots seem almost calculated to produce a mounting sense of frustration in the viewer, which is helped along by choppy editing, coffee-can sound quality, and dialog that just doesn't make any sense. And the most agonizing thing about this movie is the killer's fixation on women - the men in this movie are just so deserving. I'd've paid good money to see someone off the jerk with the pregnant girlfriend, or the lunkhead Lothario who was fooling around with his girlfriend's roommate, or any of the creepy priests. There ain't no justice.

Splatter University (1984)

1/2 (out of 4)

Incredibly awful slasher film has kids on a campus being slaughtered by a maniac with a large knife. The director of this went on to make the cult classic Class of Nuke 'Em High but no matter how you look at this thing it's still awful. The acting is among the worst I've ever seen, the story makes no sense and the death scenes are all very lame and fake looking. I went ahead and gave it half a star for some unintentional laughs that pop up from all the badness. This is certainly one of the worst slashers of the genre.