Puss Bucket (1991) Online

How could a movie featuring a character named "Corned Beef" not be a cult classic? Maybe it's because I hadn't heard of a movie with a character named Corned Beef (or, for that matter, as I later learned in the end credits, characters like Ma'er and Reverend Steve and Legless Eunice), because it was only available at a (great) little video store in the East Village in Manhattan. Despite my ignorance of the title, or what it was really about or what was in it, the premise looked promising, perhaps in a vein of Cannibal the Musical! with a more wacky religious twist (and "based on the Broadway musical" didn't hurt its chances). But boy oh boy, is this a false advertising for a (rightfully) obscure indie! The movie is kind of like what The Holy Mountain might be if Jodorowsky had a hundredth of the budget to work with, and wasn't Jodorowsky per-say but Jack Smith (on his lessor days, not Fierce Creatures), with a chunk of Ed Wood stuck in his cranium. And, oddly enough, it's a young woman directing it.

Bottom line, it's a bad movie, one that only gets a rating that isn't an undeniable failure (i.e. a zero if I could give it one, which I would to a few choice films in existence) because of a little bit of cheesy-movie promise early on in the film. There's rancid special effects, a wretchedly overwrought voice-over, and the threat of aliens by way of a Jesus connection. Sounds like prime stuff. But it isn't. It turns very quickly into a mess that almost gives the term pretentious a bad makeover. It's so amateurish on all fronts that it's almost a wonder it got any kind of screening or release at all let alone the right to have a copy of it sitting in the Cult section of the video store. It's shot on grainy 16mm, which wouldn't be so bad except that save for the They Live rip-off TV moments of characters reading crazy sci-fi gibberish it's shot poorly and with the sound so out of sync we don't know whether it's intended or just a flub from the lab that didn't get fixed. Even the music, which should be poppy and upbeat, is the pits.

But throwing into the lot of disappointment from the technical standpoint, the actors look like bums and throwaways that Hammer uses without the *proper* artistic intent. If she wants to try for some kind of weird avant-garde piece out of the underground film movement of the early 60s, then she needs better control of a stance on where to go with the material. From an abstract or surreal standpoint Pussbucket meanders around some stupid (bleep) story of some scientist following the clues of some strange disturbances while Judas and Corned Beef (if those are the two guys, the ones with the hats) are visited by a Monty Python Holy Grail God figure who tells them to get lots of puss, and without much of a semblance of talent or poetry to the proceedings. Whatever Hammer wants to get across with a ten-to-fifteen minute sequence of the guys whipping some girl in a faux S&M scene leaves on indifferent, not feeling either way of like or hate. It's sophomoric BS to the Nth degree.

Or, it is, to quote There Will Be Blood for a moment, the Bastard in a Basket of allegorical "comedies" about aliens and religion. Don't let the title, the premise, or the character descriptions fool you! 1.5/10

I just feel the need to add on to the comment posted by my good friend, steubnerrhodes... this movie really and truly is the worst movie of all time. I haven't voted for this movie because the lowest you can vote is "1," which is way too high of praise for this film. Made in 1991, the film promises "90 minutes of glorious black and white," and it makes you wish it were only 90 minutes, instead of 105. However, we figure the length on the box refers to the amount of original film, and not its total time, because there were several scenes where the film was the same, but different lines were poorly voiced over (almost none of the sound appears to have been recorded at the same time as the images anyway). Also, as steubnerrhodes mentioned, half of the roof is blown off the cottage in which the brothers lived, which they never noticed. Halfway through the movie, however, WE noticed that they are never shown entering or leaving the cottage, merely endlessly walking in circles around its perimeter. We realized that this was probably an abandoned house which the filmmakers did not have permission to enter, which, for whatever reason, they had chosen to use for CONTINUITY: so that viewers would wonder "Why haven't they noticed their roof is gone?" instead of "Why isn't their roof damaged by the spaceship sitting on it?" This movie contains, among other things, a token Klansman, the worst sex scene of all time, "Diane from Mesopotamia" (this is how she identifies herself on the phone), frightening musical numbers, and some really skanky hookers. If you ever want to never see someone again, just tell them to watch this movie, and act like it's good, and I promise you that they will leave town and never call you again, so scarred will they become. For a little bit, we honestly thought we were watching the movie from "The Ring," and only became convinced otherwise by the fact that we all lived out the week.

This movie is in fact the worst movie of all time. Although I have not seen every movie ever made, I find it impossible to fathom a movie worse than Pussbucket. I am writing this review solely as a warning to benefit mankind. Do not, for any reason, see this movie. The plot is implausible to the extreme; the two main characters, Judas and Corned Beef (affectionately dubbed "Corny") live in a cottage in a field with their grandmother, whom we never see. Within the first minutes of the film, they are visited by an alien spaceship which blows off the roof of their cottage, a fact which they never seem to notice. One of the aliens poses as the Virgin Mary to convince our protagonists to cleanse the human race by killing demons and sacrificing their pus (hence the origin of the title, which is misspelled by the movie makers). What ensues is an agonizing romp involving the slaying of scientologists, sleazy hookers, and coats pulled on a string. The budget of this film is made clear by shoddy camera work and special effects that could be duplicated by two ten-year-olds with camcorder. I cannot stress enough that no viewer should waste an hour and 45 minutes of their life to see this film.