The Avengers Homicide and Old Lace (1961–1969) Online

'Homicide & Old Lace' is regarded by 'Avengers' buffs as the show's worst ever episode. I disagree. Season Five's 'The Joker' ( a lame remake of the vastly superior 'Don't Look Behind You' ) beats it hands down for sheer awfulness. Even so, it is a bit if a dog's breakfast.

When John Bryce was fired as producer, Albert Fennell and Brian Clemens were asked to return. They filmed new scenes for the episodes already in the can, with only 'Invasion Of The Earthmen' going out relatively intact. 'The Great Great Britain Crime' was not so lucky. Clemens apparently disliked it so much he felt the only way he could possibly include it was to turn it into a comedy, hence the framing device of Mother spinning a tall tale to his dotty spinster aunts ( Mary Merrill and Joyce Carey ). What ultimately resulted was an 'Avengers' version of 'Mystery Science Theatre 3000' and you cannot get much worse than that. We can see where the faults are, and do not need for anyone to point them out to us.

The plot itself is a sequel to 'Intercrime', an episode of the second season, written by Malcolm Hulke and Terrance Dicks. The dastardly criminal organisation is up to its old tricks again, this time plotting to trigger 'Operation: Rule Britannia', a plan to remove all art treasures from galleries in the event of war, replace them with forgeries, and give the originals for safe-keeping to Colonel Corf ( Gerald Harper ). Once he places them in his secure vault, Intercrime can then nab them.

The 'Great Great Britain Crime' sequences were directed by Vernon Sewell, but the director's credit goes to John Hough. The problem is that the framing material is obtrusive and leadenly unfunny, despite artful playing from Newell, Merall and Carey. There's no Tara, and Steed only appears in a toe-curling tag scene in which Rhonda ( Mother's mute bodyguard ) is made to speak for the first time. Left intact, this would in my view have been a lot more interesting. Certainly it boasts a couple of decent action bits, such as Tara being chased around a multi-storey car park by hoods and the final shoot-out in Corf's vault.

Another mistake on Clemens' part was the re-use of old footage, such as Steed nearly being buried alive in 'The Fear Merchants' and being attacked by Christopher Lee in 'Never Never Say Die'. Sadly, the original version is widely believed to no longer exist, meaning we are stuck with this travesty for all eternity.

The final insult is Laurie Johnson's tinkly piano score. It more or less tells the audience: "this is rubbish and we know it!". So its 7/10 for the revisions, 9/10 for the original material.

"Homicide and Old Lace" may have arrived at the very end of the original series (Jan. 1969), but it was conceived in the fall of 1967, as one of the earliest Tara King episodes (witness her blonde wig, wisely discarded but not soon enough). Scripted as a sequel to the excellent Cathy Gale episode "Intercrime," this entry features the new boss, Dunbar (Keith Baxter, perhaps the single dullest villain of the entire series), leading what he describes as the crime of the century, namely the theft of priceless art treasures from under the nose of security man Colonel Corf (Gerald Harper, "Death Dispatch" and "The Hour That Never Was"). The final result is a total mishmash, half comprised of endless new footage of Patrick Newell's Mother, who never appeared in the original version titled "The Great Great Britain Crime," coupled with scenes from Emma Peel episodes, "The Bird Who Knew Too Much," "Murdersville," "The Fear Merchants," and Christopher Lee's cottage battle from "Never, Never Say Die." All of Tara's footage was shot before "The Forget-Me-Knot," with Steed making two token appearances in new scenes opposite Mother. Also featuring Mary Merrall ("The Girl from Auntie"), Donald Pickering ("The Winged Avenger"), Bari Jonson ("The Yellow Needle"), Bryan Mosley ("The Gravediggers"), and Anne Rutter ("Super Secret Cypher Snatch"). Even the producers showed their contempt for it by inserting ridiculous silent film piano music at random, creating an utterly bizarre effect that does not go unnoticed (unthinkable during the Emma Peel era). Is it the worst episode? I've always believed so, and found my father in agreement (Among many contenders, Cathy Gale's worst was "Conspiracy of Silence").

It is Mother's birthday and he has gone to visit his crime story obsessed aunts. They want to hear a story about a case he was involved in so he tells them of InterCrime's plot to commit the Crime of the Century'. Told in flashback we see how Steed and Tara infiltrate InterCrime by demonstrating that they have the skills required for their latest job. It turns out they are needed to access a government facility and acquire the security codes which change daily. The facility is part of operation 'Rule Britannia' a plan to replace priceless artworks and the crown jewels with fakes at a time when it looks as if an enemy is about to invade. InterCrimes plan is to set the operation in motion then rob the facility. Steed is forced to go along with their plans for real when Tara is taken hostage… of course our duo will thwart their plans; if they didn't Mother wouldn't me telling the story.

This could have been a decent episode but the way it was presented was fairly weak. Much of the early material is clearly taken from other episodes and Tara's blonde wig shows us the main story was filmed with the intention of broadcasting it much earlier in the series before it was abandoned then rejigged as the story Mother tells. The story could have been interesting but it is rather disjointed and the fact that it is narrated after the events removes any sense of danger for Steed and Tara. To cap it all just as it looks as if we are going to hear Mother's assistant Rhonda talk at last it turns into a weak gag! Overall a somewhat disappointing episode.