Bullet Down Under (1994) Online

Martin Bullet. That's really all we have to say. We could probably just end the review right now, because that name alone tells you more about Bullet Down Under than any long-winded treatise would. But lest you think we're lazy, we shall continue. The aforementioned Bullet (Atkins), whose name takes the cake as far as way-too-on-the-nose action movie names are concerned (and we've heard 'em all - or at least we thought we had - e.g. Anthony Strong, Jeff Powers, John Steele, Skylord Harris, etc.) is an L.A. cop who shoots some stereotypical 90's homies and decides the best course of action after this supposedly tragic event is to hightail it to Australia and team up with hard-nosed, no-nonsense cop Moran (Jacko Jackson, whose name rivals Bullet's, but his is real!). What then follows includes the fish-out-of-water Bullet and bull-in-a-china-shop Moran tearing up Australia fighting the baddies, who happen to be murderers and gangsters. Will Bullet's next hit be number one with a bullet? Bullet over to Amazon and find out...

Way before Bullet to the Head (2012), but after Bullet In the Head (1990), we have Bullet Down Under (though to be fair, in most places this movie is called Signal One) - the original Bullet film. The whole outing is very TV-cop style, which isn't surprising, as this is director Stewart's only non-TV project. There are plenty of shootouts and car chases, but the plot has a ton of filler and lacks strong structure, as well as a threatening, centralized villain. Now that the negatives are out of the way, we can concentrate on Christopher Atkins' leather jacket and sunglasses combo. Obviously he needed to look cool so he could compete with his own name. Bullet, not Atkins. Oddly, the movie doesn't exploit the name Martin Bullet like it should have. Take Best of the Best 2 (1993) for example. They said the name Brakus like a million times. The name "Martin Bullet" should have been said more during the running time.

Contrasting with the baby-faced Atkins is the hulking, macho meathead Jacko Jackson. He's not really known here in America, so after some digging we learned that he is an Australian Rules footballer. Thankfully, he's also an Australian Rules actor. He seems to be the Australian parallel to our Brian Bosworth, and Atkins the parallel to our Mark Hamill. Pairing the two together certainly makes sense, especially when they're investigating bootleg boomerang manufacturers (it sounds like a stereotype but this really occurs...we would imagine that is a big problem down there), and getting to the bottom of a very strange band called The Battered Brides that play with cardboard (?) instruments, kind of like the hard rock version of Information Society.

The U.S. DVD is of amazingly, embarrassingly poor quality (the audio is the worst we've ever heard - it sounds like everything is coming out of the worst drive-thru speaker you've ever ordered a burger through...at any moment you think Jacko Jackson is going to ask you if you want fries with that), and the video isn't much better, with glaring errors such as Atkins walking out of a room twice (which was quite funny actually) - but we blame Arrow Video for this, not the filmmakers. There are plenty of amusing moments in Bullet Down Under (like the scenes in the classic weightlifting room) - but Arrow seems intent on not letting you fully enjoy them.

We were happy to get a chance to see this, and if you see it DIRT cheap somewhere like a gas station or Goodwill (where we found our copy), pick it up, but the inconsistency of the movie itself, as well as the poor presentation, will rightly scare off many potential viewers.

...is set in Australia, where sensitive US cop "Martin Bullet" is assigned as the partner of rogue detective Jack Morant (Jacko Jackson, if you can believe it!!) whose former partner was killed by a mystery professional with an earring. There's not too much that's new here, but it's intentionally bad, with hellish one-liners that'll have you groaning guaranteed, and just enough plot substance to make it watchable. I still can't get over Jacko...OI! 5/10

Some nice location photography in Sydney, Australia is the main thing that Bullet Down Under has going for it. Otherwise this is an Australian ripoff of some of our American police action flicks.

Christopher Atkins working in some kind of exchange program is an LA cop who kills a young kid during a shootout. It's left him both gunshy and looking for a change of scenery. It's to the Sydney PD he goes and he's partnered with Mark Jackson the local Sydney Dirty Harry.

Jackson is investigating a drug deal gone bad that's pitted Chinese and native Aussie drug gangs against each other. There's missing a whole lot of loot from said drug deal.

A surprising villain and the idea is plainly taken from the Charles Bronson film 10 To Midnight. Atkins and his encounter with the villain has some good moments.

But in the end Bullet Down Under is just Aussie caliber of our stuff.

SIGNAL ONE is a very low rent Aussie thriller with plenty of foul-mouthed dialogue and character humour to recommend it. The plot is some predictable piece of fluff about a renegade cop who tires of violent life in America and comes to Australia only to find himself tackling some criminals who are even worse. The content is okay but the style and direction are both second rate. Even worse, the thrills aren't thrilling and the humour is only fitfully funny. The actors have very little to do other than go through the motions.

Why is this movie funny, yet it's an action drama. Because Mark Jacko Jackson, in his mind, thinks he can act, and when he does, it's funny. He spouts lines like "Lady, people do get hurt" or with a snarl "Oh, you drink your milk off of a saucer, ya big pussy, now F off". But Jacko is the prime reason this B grade actioner, shot around Sydney, works. Partnered with avenging cop Jacko, is another lousy actor, Christopher Atkins, who at least, puts a little bit of character into his performance, than of normal. He plays Jacko's new sidekick, Martin Vale, who at first really bangs heads with his new partner, Jack (Jacko-what coincidence) go after the baddies who took down Jacko's mate. How cliché'd is this? The slow brother of a guy, an associate of the baddies, has a very important briefcase, that is worth killing for. He's hiding out near the wharfs, taking refuge in a warehouse west of the city centre. When the backward's brother's killed, older brother comes running scared. I think you can fill in the rest of the story. While not meaning to be, Signal One, is funny at the aspect of it being a weak movie, and a weak story to boot, with a real nasty scene near it's finale, that's gives it some bite, involving a female fetale (Virginia Hey-Mad Max 2, Prisoner) with scissors who Jacko goes home with. While she's making a better appetizer, our rather pathetic loner of a cop Jacko, thinks it's his lucky night. Truly, this is one of the funniest movie in the flick. When likable Atkins visits the fitness centre, Hey frequents, and asks the receptionist if she's seen his partner, she says, "Yes, I did. I thought it was really weird though". ATKINS: "Why?" RECEPTIONIST: "You ever get a look a him". I don't think, we ever found out if Jacko lives or dies either. While being a trashy movie, of poor quality, and acting from not only it's leads, Signal One, is still a entertaining popcorn/soda watch, with a thrilling car chase in it's starting, that gives it some other oomph. There are some scenes that are truly garbage, I can tell you, movie connisseur, that I am, like when a budding rock group invade the privacy of Mr Slow in that warehouse. But honestly the flick is worth it's view alone for Jacko, even though unlike Atkins, his character here, isn't that likable, or really, not that worth caring about.

A particularly UNPLEASANT police investigation into an Australian female killer who specializes in male mutilations. Maybe NOW would like it. Vaguely reminiscent of "I Spit on Your Grave", but not nearly as bad or explicit (but bad enough). Beyond all that, there were improbable scenes, and the ending was rather unsatisfying. Watch this one, maybe on early morning TV, 5 AM or so, as a guilty pleasure. And then take a shower.